things that make you go "hmm..."

quick note, just an observation i made:

talking with single-mom friends of mine, i noticed that they and their children fell into one of two categories: 1.) well-adjusted and happy, or 2.) maladjusted and in desperate need of therapy.

now, bear with me, this is just an observation that i made among my own friends, so it's by no means any sort of official or scientific. it was, quite simply, a thing that made me go "hmm..."

those friends of mine who fell into category 2 were, blessedly, the very small minority. what their single motherhood all had in common was a very young age (20 years old or younger), and single motherhood was thrust upon them by circumstances beyond their control. in some way or another, the father left them and they had no choice but to raise their kid(s) alone. they felt abandoned and sad, afraid and confused and very alone.

in category 1 are the moms who were more in my age group (30-33), except for one who was in her early 20's when entering single motherhood.

however, where category 1 differs is in the simple fact that they chose to be single mothers. for whatever reason, the father/sperm donor was severely lacking to the point where these extraordinary women made the decision not to include these males in their children's lives despite the traditional view that "no matter what, a child needs both parents!" yeah, no matter what, indeed.

these women turned their noses up at that and said, "Eff that! One responsible and mature, emotionally/mentally healthy parent is better than a dysfunctional pair!" and chose their path with courage and decisive action. their children lack for nothing in the grand scheme of things, are happy, love their mothers, and no one that i can see needs any therapy.

coincidence? honestly, i think not.

adventures in gestating

i know, my bad.

here i wrote all about how excited i was that the iGoddess child was going to be here, and then dropped off the face of the planet.

again.

oi vey. so no, i didn't really fall off the face of the planet. pregnancy hormones are kicking my ass, though. for the life of me, i can't recall if i ever mentioned the hyperemesis gravidarum which plagued me when i was pregnant with li'l *c*, but i'm sure i must have. that hit around the twelfth week and lasted until his birthday.

well, this time around, it hit around the fifth week, and it hit HARD. i'm still down, and i'm at thirteen weeks. by this time, i figure i've lost more than twenty pounds (last weigh-in was 18 lbs down a week ago), have had two ER visits for dehydration and, of all embarrassing things, fainting. yay super-low blood pressure.

so it's going to be another one of those. thank the gods for Zofran because, without that magic little 8mg pill 3 times a day, i wouldn't even be able to eat the little that i do. it's going to be a tough ride, baby.

also, i dumped the sperm donor. there's something about men that like the idea of a thing more than the actual thing. yeah, i have a problem with those. not that i'm keen to put up the details here, but suffice it to say that in this iVillage of ours, none of us really shy away anymore from making the tough-but-right choices. i like to think that i've continued that little tradition.

been thinking about you a lot, boho mom, and our conversations about single motherhood. and it wasn't a tear-filled or painful choice, either. i'm not sitting here eating ice cream, using up kleenex, and watching titanic or anything. actually, thanks i think in part to the nesting instinct, it felt more like house-cleaning than anything.

though i am eating ice cream, it's mainly for the heartburn. OMG, the heartburn!

now, for the first time, i actually feel excited about this whole thing. in my head i'm already decorating the funk palace, and can already see myself in the kitchen with the iGoddess child, side by side and cooking something gluten-free and awesome with the white album playing in the background.

it looks good, and my way finally looks clear. so, single moms in the audience (both current and former!), you ready to add another to your exalted ranks?