daily deelite

1. i am rockin' grateful today for wonderful days spent with wonderful people

2. i'm especially grateful for short naps that were really, really needed and really, really helped.

3. i'm grateful for such beautiful timing that plops a super-delicious bowl of lentil soup in front of me just when i was thinking about getting hungry. i'd just dragged myself out of my room after that short nap and the house smelled...funny. cumin'll do that. but *ks* was making lentil soup and it was awesome.

4. i am grateful, also, for those small realizations i have about myself sometimes that let me know i'm on the right track

5. i'm grateful that i'm strong enough to kick to the curb any toxicity that threatens my Funk, like when *sy* called me earlier this evening. i didn't recognize his voice when he said, "hi," like i should've known it was him. i'd put him out of my mind long ago. but my gut reaction was something along the lines of, "what the hell are you going talking to me?" it was offensive, kind of like when your roomate's friend makes himself too much at home in your living room and strews his crap everywhere, tracks mud all over your champagne carpet, and kicks your cat. i hung up on him.

i'm far too busy following my Funk to let any toxic garbage back into my life. although, like when *jd* told me he was still in love with me after all these years, it was quite satisfying to see yet another body of my enemy floating down the river past me.

victory. and we keep going.

resume

Delena's Heart
Main Artery
Cognitive, Spiritual, and Circulatory System

Objectives: To continue to reside in happy, healthy, and functional surroundings which encourage freedom and holistic health, with ample challenge for continuing, phenominal personal growth

Professional Experience:

(June 2008 - present) Freedom Revolution, a subsidiary of iGoddess, Inc.
Title: Founder
Duties:
- overseeing all levels of operation including marketing, advertising, secretarial, and recruitng
- overseeing all finances and funding
- changing the world by helping people wake up from their zomboid automoton lives
- offering a select few the opportunity for challenging personal growth to achieve all aspects of wealth in their lives
-- making the world a better place
Status:
Freedom Revolution is small. Financial output still exceeds income, but if wealth were measured in heart and joy in life, I'd be richer than J.K. Rowling. But the faith is there, and it's assured FR will be a one-woman megalith. Due to a change in iGoddess Inc's business policies, Freedom Revolution is open to a partnership that is equal, equitable, and will encourage FR's limitless growth.

(July 2004 – June 2008) iGoddess Inc. DBA Delena Global
Title: Independent Goddess Consultant
Duties:
- Owning my womanhood
- Reclaiming independence
- Being slave to no business other than my own
Reason for Leaving:
Delena Global was small, and small-minded. The business plan was inefficient and delusional. Output exceeded income due to the foundations of the faulty business planVacations, weekends, and overtime/holiday pay was nonexistent. There was unlimited potential for growth, income, and philanthropy, however the business model made it ineffectual. And under the then-current P&P of iGoddess Inc., the possibility of acquiring a new partner was nil. iGoddess Inc. was not into acquisitions. A long-term position with a sadly misguided company was not possible.

(August 2004 - present) iGoddess, Inc.
Title: Founder (following a revolutionary breakthrough)
Duties:
- Personal responsibility
- Challenging myself toward personal growth daily
- Being a Revolutionary Freedom Fighter for Beauty, Truth, and Finding the Funk
- Upholding Freedom wherever I can
- Living with Honesty at all times
- Being in alignment with myself, my dreams, and my desires, and surrounding myself only with things that encourage this alignment
- Providing avenues and opportunities for others to come into alignment with themselves and achieve their dreams
- Being a representative of the Funky Jive and an example of how to live in harmony with one's own Inner Funk
Status:
iGoddess Inc. has a great new look, and a new plan and business model to show for it! We have raised our standards tremendously to match our dreams, rather than lowering our dreams to match a misguided and limited perception of possibility. Partnerships are welcome and encouraged now, but only those in keeping with the newer, higher standards of conduct, ability, and mentality of iGoddess' independent contractors. iGoddess encourages growth and abundance, truth, freedom and love above all.

(January 1979 - August 2004) The CODAWAA Union, The Conglomerate of Dysfunctional and Woman-Abusive Ass-Souls; in co-operation with Corporate America
Title: Employee/Servant
Duties:
- Made to feel weak through use of authority/power-over
- Mindlessly do what I was told
- Feel guilty and unworthy whenever underperforming as a flawless, mindless automoton (e.g. show any individuality or humanity)
- Have no dignity through authority's ability to convince me I wasn't needed or wanted unless I was zomboid and overproductive.
- Feel overwhelming pride and gratitude when tossed a bone or given a pat on the head
- Endure humiliation
- Endure being treated like a meaningless cog in a wheel
(*the above list was taken from the model of a POW camp, although it bears striking resemblance to Corporate America and dysfunctional relationships. think about it.)
Reason for leaving:
The position no longer fit with my worldview, nor was my endurance for such worker treatment limitless. At some point, extreme duress triggers a breakthrough of consciousness. I no longer
believed in nor fit within the current model.

Education:

The Universal School of Hard Knocks, GWA 1.159 and candidate for Magna Cum Laude until it was discovered I was mis-enrolled
The Jiggy Snake's Funktastical, Mind-Blowing, and Action-Packed Study Courses only at Astral University, Pass with Orgasmic Colors (pass/fail only)
The Menstrual Temple of the Funky Grail, attendance ongoing

Major Accomplishments:
- Broke out of the employee/servant mentality
- Took responsibility for my thoughts and emotions
- Dared to dust off my dreams and reach for them
- Rejected the life of mediocrity and embraced a life of excellence
- Turned away from the limiting collective unconsciousness of the sleeping masses and embraced the liberated and revolutionary mentality of abundance
-Accepted my role as an example for the Funky Wow
- Took up the mantle of a Revolutionary Freedom Fighter
- I woke up

Strengths:
- So strong nothing disturbs my peace of mind
- Make all my friends feel there is something worthwhile in them
- Believe and talk of health, wealth, and prosperity to everyone I meet
- I create my optimism and make it happen
- To think of, work for, and expect only the best
- Rejoice in other's successes as well as my own
- The ability to learn from the mistakes of the past, let them go, and embrace the possibilities in the future
- I smile at everyone I see
- Give so much time to improving myself I have no time to criticize others
- Too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, too happy to permit the presence of trouble
- To think well of myself and show the world through great deeds
- Remaining true to the best that is within me

daily deelite

1. dinner last night was so awesome. simple, but awesome. have i extended gratitude lately for the simplicity of a magically yumariffic dinner with my siblings?

2. our cable went out last night around 01:00, right when we were all heavily into our stuff. *ds* and *ks* were hot in WOW, and i was...i dunno...checking email and managing my blogs, i think, and reading an online article about how vegetarian/fruitarian lifestyles benefit our health. yeah, i'm a web-surfer girl; at any given moment, i have at least 3-4 browsers open, usually more. suddenly i heard grumbling to my left as my MMORP siblings got the big boot. i was happily oblivious, absorbed in my article, but after it hit what had happened we were --sadly-- kinda like the Borg unplugged.

but what was first seen as a bane became a boon. i'd already lit several candles around the living room for ambiance, it was a warm night, and we all plopped on the couch together for an enjoyable time together watching oh brother, where art thou?

3. more than i can say, i'm grateful things are finally starting to pick up for me and Freedom Revolution

4. when i made my dream board movie, i put together three clips of as many of my friends as i had pictures for. i made two collages of them, and in doing so it really put in front of me just how saturated my life is. i'm positively dripping with friendship and love and support, and it's so awesome to see that. i think, in my heart, i was still in that place after my Kali Summer where it felt like i really didn't have many friends at all. but the people left over from that time two years ago are the ones that will be around forever, and the new friends i've made since then are an empire unto themselves. take a look. pause it when the collages come up. you're in there. and if not, it's only because i didn't have a picture of you! (hint, hint!)

my circle of friends is bigger than a lot of extended families of people i know. talk about funkalicious abundance!

i love you all. you people rock!

5. and i can't even begin to express how grateful i am that i have the time to do something as simple as sit here for twenty minutes doing nothing but writing about all the things i'm grateful for today!

brezsny-on-the-blog

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): "You have to love life when you're in really deep trouble," said poet Robin Blaser. So what about if, on the other hand, you're in only shallow trouble? Do you have a mandate to just sort of *like* life a little more? Or can you, with a little work, exploit the mild disturbance that the shallow trouble provides in order to dramatically pump up your adoration of life? I hope that your actions in the coming week, Capricorn, will be a big "yes" in response to that question. I'm happy to tell you that you can wangle a big boost from a small inconvenience.


hmm, "mild disturbance..." y'know, yesterday i wrote quite a bit at Freedom Revolution about a certain mild disturbance that didn't feel quite so mild. it seemed quite huge, actually. really huge. in retrospect, however, it was less about an external "huge" problem and more about conquering myself.

and what a big boost it was!

of course, that doesn't have to be the only area in my life where i'm ankle-deep in the Teenie-Weenie Wading Pool of Troubled Waters and worrying about tsunamis. i still worry about paring down to two days a week at the salon while, conversely, i'm counting down the four weekends left that i have there. and it's not even as if i'm looking forward to anything grandiose. quite the opposite. i've resolved to take the first free weekend i have and i'm going down to saturday market downtown. it's a fun-filled weekend of bohippian funk and gypsy caravan flair, something my soul hasn't gotten enough of in two years.

i am determined!

but really, that's about all the trouble my fabulicious pronoiac self can conjure at the moment. not that i'm complaining...

everywhere else, in every way else, things are only getting better.

ah, the wonders, hilarity, and humanity of the internet...

every morning monday thru friday in iGoddess Land, the minbari-like alarm chimes softly and soothingly at 07:57, which is just enough time for me to wake up, sigh and smile like i do every morning (because waking up is a pleasant experience), turn off the alarm and dial in to my morning conference call. it's an exciting, cheerful conversation filled with enthusiasm and boundless energy. it puts me in the right frame of mind to begin my day, and i can lie in bed with my eyes closed, smiling to myself, while on speakerfone tony rush is talking about leadership, awareness, freedom, compassion, and outreach. it's a beautiful thing.

and sometimes i turn off the alarm and roll over, hug my pillow, and sleep in an extra hour or so. this, too, is a beautiful thing.

finally rolling out of bed is always such a fantastic feeling. i get up, greet the kitties who come rushing to my door, spend a little time with rumblestrut (who, because he's a cat, got kicked out of paradise aka "my room" during the night and feels slightly exiled), and come to my computer to find out what my day has in store for me. i check all my email (from five accounts, that can be a lot some days), take notes on business emails and website responses, write a list of who i get to call that day, and read my newsletters.

it's amazing the things i find in this phenominally delicious world...

like today i found this adorable little snippet into the inside of a healthy, happy, well-adjusted single woman's mind. what rocks is that this article called me "The Holy Grail!" as a cute, intelligent, and hilarious chick who's also a gamer, i've half-jokingly referred to myself as "prime equity stock" in the past. after this, i think i like "Holy Grail" much better! how many guys can say that they found a girl who not only tolerates their new-game obsessions and weekend-long gaming marathons, but also is happy to be the supportive, cheering audience, is eager to fix a "Glorious Pot of Everfill" chili and stock up on potions of Henry Weinhart to last the marathon, and even joins in and kicks some butt of her own? in a word, a chick like that is orgasmically delicious! a definite Holy Grail for the saavy male gamer looking for love, marriage, and PvP*.

with my beloved boho mom on the brain, i went out and watched randy pausch's Final Lecture on YouTube. it was simply amazing. i got teary-eyed when he had a birthday cake wheeled out and had the whole auditorium sing "happy birthday" to his wife. i read the small tribute Google wrote in honor of him (and you're definitely a Thunder Walker if Google tips its hat to you!), and found this article on Wired.com with an interesting sign of the times. we're entering a new age of not just cybersex and e-commerce, but of whole communities of iVillages and, now, thanks to Randy, distributed iFunerals. the internet is truly a wonderful, wonder-filled place...

speaking of randy, he mentioned how his childhood hero was Captain Kirk and expressed all this excitement for the captain's nifty, neat-o toys. he held up his own Star Trek communicator, then held up his real-life, working model that happened to be smaller, sleeker, and was called a "cell phone." i grew up with The Original Series (on re-run, unfortunately, as i was born in the late 70's) in a sci-fi-encouraged home. it's always so much fun to see when science fact catches up with science fiction. better still, when i see how science fiction is used for the greater good. now there's a version of pronoia in action, baby!

of course, hilariously enough, this wonder-filled world we live in isn't for the faint of heart, either... sometimes it's nice to take a look at ourselves and our lives in 2008 and see just how good we got it.

*PvP, for you non-gamers, stands for Player vs. Player, a cutthroat and merciless arena where winner takes all, and losers often get camped*.

*again, for you non-gamers, "camped" is a term meaning that, when you've gotten ganked by a player with better stats and mad skillz than you, they end up sitting next to your corpse waiting for you to resurrect with only 5% of your hit points so they can squick you again. vicious and delicious, tastes just like vengeance!

too excited

after much musing, stressing, panicking, ranting, brainstorming, studying, experimenting, and spending, i think my internet advertising is finally beginning to get off the ground with Freedom Revolution.

lemme just say that GoogleAds is a *****. <--censored

it's been a very enlightening journey so far.

but not only are some of my ads up in place and working (i'm getting emails and phone calls from real people interested! huzzah!), but i even have a blog up and running. i'm still debating what to put the focus on. i know pretty much only three or four people comment on this blog, like, ever. but still, if at all possible, perhaps a little help and feedback? i really would appreciate input on what you guys think the focus should be over on Freedom Revolution's blog.

should it be the aspect of my struggles, trials, and triumphs in building my internet marketing empire? should it be focusing more on the pleasure of helping the people i meet in taking control of their own lives and building their own financial freedom? should it be on the personal growth potential of what Freedom Revolution has to offer? a mix of all three? or something else altogether?

i haven't really had any travel or phenominally wealthy experiences yet, like some of my colleagues with their own blogs. so it's not like i can say, "hey! i just got back from hawai'i and here are some great pictures!" or anything like that. not yet, anyway. but i don't want to be just a mimic of what's already out there, especially since some of the greatest of the Thunder Walkers can express some of the things i do better than i can right now. they've been doing it longer, are already self-made millionaires, and handle the Entrepreneur Biz 101 calls as it is.

so anyway, the link's on my blogroll now. feedback, questions, opinions, anything at all would be appreciated.

thanks again!

daily deelite

1. per recommendation by *rj* back on saturday, i asked google to help me find dr. horrible, and it absolutely effing rocked! i highly recommend it. for any of you out there who loved buffy the vampire slayer or serenity, Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog is a musical in 3 parts written by the mr. joss whedon himself. i fall to my knees in homage of the greatest writer in the world.

he rocks. (btw, if you like it, please buy it off iTunes for a number of reasons; some of which being that this was an experiment, it helps offset production costs for this low-budget project, and as proof of a concept it'll help encourage others to make more of these for their fans!)



2. i'm grateful for those creative things in the world like buffy, babylon 5, and stardust. it's something that reaches large numbers of people and sparks something inside of them, inspires their creativity and sense of wonder.

3. i'm grateful for yummy iced chamomile/honeysuckle/blackberry/peppermint tea in the afternoon. sweetened with a little brown sugar? heavenly!

4. i'm grateful for the help and creativity of my siblings. slowly but surely, we're overcoming my advertising and marketing obstacles that were really starting to get me down.

5. and i love how every minute is another chance to turn it all around.

daily deelite

1. i woke up today so grateful that i didn't have to go in to the salon today.

2. i'm so grateful i have the freedom to choose this life i've chosen for myself. i'm grateful for the freedoms i have, and grateful i can devote my life to making the world a better place by helping people to make their lives better.

3. i'm grateful for the things in life that bring such wonderful nights like saturday night into my life.

4. i'm grateful for the wonderful people the universe ushers into my life because i wished for them.

5. for the awesomely fun, relaxing day i had yesterday, i am so thankful. i love road trips.

NIN

i pretty much took that picture just for proof that i was there. that was after their last set, before the encore.

it effing rocked last night! i had so much fun...

it was kinda strange being in seattle. the last time i'd been there was in '02 when i was visiting with *k*, my estranged older sister. it feels really good to be able to imprint better memories atop the crappy ones of pretty much the entire state of washington. i really don't like WA all that much: it's where i was married, after all, and where a lot of people live that used to be friends. the only reason i drove up there was for them, or back when *j* and i were together i'd drive up to see him. so i didn't have a whole lot of reason to even give the state my time of day. but a NIN concert?

yeah, i'll do that. =) and it was great!

i got pics of the space needle, also to prove i was there. "for blog posterity," i said. there was a parade going on at the same time, and some sort of decorative military function, so it was c-r-o-w-d-e-d! but after kinda taking a roundabout route amidst horses and baton twirlers, floats, and drumlines, we finally made our way to the key arena.

i took this pic along the way, because i'd forgotten to ask *ks* if i could borrow his camera. i had my phone, though. my new, wonderful slinky pinky with all-powerful camera action! woo! so i was playing with it and had the opportunity to prove that yes, i do in fact go out and do stuff. i didn't know it, but we had floor tickets, so we landed ourselves a spot dead center four bodies back. when i say that trent reznor was right there, i mean he was right there. it was pretty incredible...

...until i realized that i was standing in the dead center of the mosh pit. at first it was actually kinda fun. i was getting high on the energy of so many pressing bodies all frantic in the heated worship of angry, industrial rock. i laughed, thinking, "wow, i can kinda say that i've now had hot, sweaty sex with about 300 people. cool." there was that kind of charge to the mob. i flowed with it, leaned with it, ran with it, pressed with it, jumped with it, screamed with it. at one point, neither of my feet were touching the floor and i was being carried along by it.

cool.

but y'know, if you've never been in a mosh pit, all those bodies crushing against you, all that heat, all of them screaming and gyrating and pressing tends to suck all the oxygen out of the air. some of it i'm sure gets burned up by the sheer energy of the crowd. i couldn't breathe. i now do not doubt the power of mobs, or their deadliness. when people say they couldn't get out of it and were carried along by it, they don't mean that figuratively.

between that, and all the skunkweed being smoked in the pit, i almost passed out. but i was with *cr*. he stuck by me...i don't know how. that crowd was wild. but when i turned to him and said, "yeah, 'kay, i'm done," he threw his arm across my chest and pulled me, lifeguard-with-drowning-victim style, through the crowd and out. i was like, "aw, my hero. he fought through a mosh pit for me." a guard saw me staggering, and he escorted us out the rest of the way, put me with the floor guards. it was kinda cool.

afterwards, when we were resting our feet (i took my "comfortable" walking shoes off and was happier barefoot, for which *cr* laughed at me), i saw a guy running around wearing balloon art. it was hilarious. we laughed, mused about it, laughed more, and finally i got up and asked the guy if i could take a picture of his lovely balloon. he was a nice guy.



then we had to split up because we had taken two cars between all of us, and we wanted to meet up at mc menamin's just for some place to sit and enjoy something to drink before heading out. traffic was kinda nuts. it was hilarious, listening to the guys try to figure out which would be best, least confusing, most efficient, and fastest. of course, being that *cr* doesn't know seattle, and i'm directionally-challenged as it is, i said, "well, why don't we all just get a picture of the map instead of you guys trying to memorize it?"

and then there was silence.

crickets chirping. befuddled guys blinking.

"dude, that's a good idea!" and "wow, that's a good idea!" and (my favorite) "why didn't we think of that? that's a really good idea."

me: "what would you do without me?"



and then, because it was there and beautiful, and it was a clear night, i got another shot of the needle.



all in all, it was a really fun night.

daily deelite

1. one thing i've always loved is night driving. i am so grateful for the peace, warm night breezes, and soothing atmosphere of a good night drive...

2. i'm grateful for a fully tummy and a life of plenty. so many people in the world don't have a fraction of what i have.

3. i'm eternally grateful for dinner nite at the parents'. it's one of my ultimately favoritest things in the whole, wide world. even if it's the most normal evening ever, i will never get tired of just existing in the presence of my parents; feeling safe, loved, and nurtured never goes out of style.

4. i'm grateful for my dad's cooking. he effing rocks in the kitchen, i swear.

5. i know i say this a lot, but it always bears repeating: my capacity for gratitude towards my family, and their love, continually grows. i am so thankful to be surrounded by the family that i have.

the shift

well, i was gonna be saying, "hey, y'all! i'm headed out to a NIN concert in seattle today. see ya on the flip side..."

but then i got this link in the mail by a rockin', brilliant entrepreneur friend of mine and i just had to share.

prepare to be dazzled...

...by something by the collective, for the collective...

...it'll blow your mind.

selah.

daily deelite

1. i am SO GRATEFUL for the abundance of the universe!! i placed my very first business partner into my system today, and it was so easy! this is going to be great; i can just feel it.

2. i'm utterly grateful to *ds* and *ks* for being such a solid base of support for me to stand on. without them, this entire journey would have been so much more difficult. i honestly don't know if i'd have had the strength and fortitude to come as far as i have, as fast as i have. but with them here supporting me, cheering me on, and helping me get my head on straight when it skews a bit, i've really surprised myself when i realize just how much potential i was really sitting on.

and dang. it's a lot.

3. i woke up in gratitude for the fabulous sleep i continue to get, and how rested i feel when i wake up. holosync really was the answer to that insomniac struggle i've had for fourteen years. i'm just so grateful insomnia is a part of my past, and that healthy and restful, complete sleep is a part of my present! i think a lot of people out there take sleep for granted. i will always appreciate it!

4. i am grateful for the fabulous weather we're continuing to have. it lifts me up and i can easily imagine the sunshine soaking into my skin and infusing me generously with light, happiness, health, energy, and the love of the universe.

5. i'm just so dang grateful for my life! seriously! i took my own life into my own hands, am starting to live the way i want to live, and every moment is precious. every friendship is golden, my family is my strength, the freedom and flexibility in my new life is fabuliciously amazing, and the new people i'm drawing into my life are just rockin' Funktastic!

if like attracts like, then i'm mind-bogglingly wonderlicious!

woo!

what delena's been up to

there's been a revolution taking place here at iGoddess, and i know there've been a few of you scratching your heads wondering just where it's come from, what i've been doing, and what i've been on.

to quote that totally cheesy cliché, i'm just high on life, baby! =)

but honestly, there's been a lot going on this last month. a lot. and i've been up to my eyeballs devoting so much of myself to these new changes, challenges, and commitments. i think the results have been more than obvious here, and the inner transformations that have been taking place.

everyone knows that iGoddess, in many of its incarnations, has been devoted to real personal growth. not to harp on the past, but i had a very challenging childhood and adolescence. there were a lot of obstacles and traumas that had stacked life unfavorably for me, and i've dedicated my life to overcoming all of that and being the person i've always wanted to be.

well, now i've made it a business.

my business...

...that i work from home...

...and i quit the grooming job to do it.

that's how much i believe in what i'm doing now. on the 16th, i went in to work and gave my notice. this is my vacation right now, but after a few weeks of part time that's gonna be it. i'm done there. instead of worrying or gritting my teeth about that great-job-turned-toxic-relationship and riding it out until it devours me from the inside out as the old me would have done, i just put it down and walked away. i put it down, walked away, and devoted myself to building something i believe in so strongly i've walked away from a dependable paycheck.

me. me! i mean, sheesh. remember when i couldn't let go of a petty insult, let alone letting go of a career that once made me so proud? and i just let it go.

and i've been so high on this empowerment, just riding the thermals i've discovered in the realm of belief in myself and in the universe. i think i've conveyed a little of that in my posts the last few weeks.

i made the decision to truly live my life as Delena of the Funkywild. i made the choice to truly be a Revolutionary Freedom Fighter for Beauty, Truth, and Finding the Funk. i made the commitment to myself to Be a successful leader, Do the things a successful leader would do, and Have the things a successful leader would have. it may seem cheesy to a pop nihilist, but i really do watch that movie i made every day when i wake up, before i go to bed, and several times in between; i meant what i said about coming into alignment with myself and i practice it; i wrote affirmations on post-its and have them all over my bathroom mirrors, and i do read them aloud whenever i'm in there (which is great when i'm putting on make-up!); i recite "the optimist's creed" by christian d. larson every day; i listen to holosync every night before going to bed; i work my own personal development product --workbook and journaling-- every day; i start every day with a business conference call that lifts me up, gets my head on straight, and is better than a cup of morning coffee.

in fact, it's replaced my morning caffeine. and i make that phone call without getting out of bed unless i feel like it!

yes, it sounds like a lot, but most of these only take a few minutes out of my day. and considering how crazy and busy things can get in life, i can't afford not to take the time to get myself in the right frame of mind. and it's only attracted so much positivity and abundance into my life, and has truly opened doors of opportunity for me. i've left everything behind that didn't serve me and propel me further in my mission to better myself, help others, and manifest every good thing i could ever dream of having in my life.

if it doesn't lift me up, it simply isn't in my life anymore. in fact, anything that drags you down --from people to jobs to your own thoughts-- is pretty dang useless if you ask me.

this included the grooming job, so i dropped it.

welcome to the Freedom Revolution, baby.

daily deelite

i woke up today and it was incredible. there've been such phenominal changes in my mind and heart, that i think today the concept of "waking up in gratitude" really, finally, began to solidify for me.

1. i am filled with gratitude for the absolutely gorgeous day it is outside. i can't wait to step through my front door and into this beautiful sunshine, blue sky, brilliantly green trees of every shade imaginable, fresh oregon air, and possibilities.

2. i am grateful for our kitties. my boy loves me so much, and looks at me with the expectation of love and affection...and that's all he wants. he asks me to spend time with him, and sometimes he'll even say, "mom, can we have time just the two of us?" and he'll look at my bedroom door, trill, and rub up against my leg, twine around my ankles. so i'll let him in, close the door, and we'll curl up on my bed. he'll stretch out, purring as loud as he possibly can, and i'll just scratch under his chin and rub his ears, pet him, talk softly to him and tell him how much i love him and what a pretty kitty he is. then, when he's really happy, he'll take a bath and flop next to me and fall asleep purring. sometimes i'll fall asleep, too, and we just enjoy that time together. we do that again at bedtime sometimes. at least, as long as my bedtime doesn't coincide with "kitty daytona" and all he wants to do is play the perpetual game of chase with his brother and little sister.

3. i am so grateful for this new life i'm building. i've been thinking of richard and willow a lot lately, and all they used to tell me. yes, they were on the right track in a lot of ways, and what they were telling me finally makes sense. but i also see where they were wrong misguided, and went about things in a very ineffective fashion. i can also see how nothing they would've said or done could have helped because i wasn't in the place to understand at the time. their condemnation and blame wasn't what i needed, but i can understand how they could be so scornful simply because my intelligence made it seem as if i couldn't possibly not get it. but there's just no way to get a blind person to see with their eyes, no matter how brilliant they are; and that's what they were trying to do.

but now, not only do i see clearly, but i've exceeded their lessons by entire planes of thought. and all i am filled with is compassion for them, because now i can see how they were trapped in their own quagmires of ineffective and self-limiting mentalities as well. after all, they're only human.

4. but i am grateful for what they did for me.

5. i am grateful for love, in all its forms. if i am a revolutionary freedom fighter for truth, beauty, freedom, and love --the only things that truly exist and all else is illusion-- then "the greatest of these is Love."

brezsny-on-the-blog

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): I predict you will have 32 dreams as you sleep in the coming week. In at least five of those adventures, you will be offered a chance to wield a magic hammer like the one that belonged to the Norse god Thor. You're under no obligation to use it, of course. But if you do, it could help you smite dream adversaries, from stupid giants to evil ducks to rash-covered devils. You could also take advantage of it to build things, like a dream house or a dream boat. The proper use of the hammer will be a constant test, since you'll have to be ever-alert and adaptable as you decide whether to employ it for destruction or creation.


well, you're right on the dreaming part, mr. brezsny. i've been dreaming intensely lately, and i attribute part of it to all of this Undiscovered Country i've been traversing lately.

however, as has been said before...

But nothing could prepare her for the new cast of characters she would soon encounter: the Reincarnated Totem Horde, the One with the Tie-Dyed Decoder Ring, the Jiggy Dreaming-Magic Guru, the Thunder Walkers... Suddenly she finds herself in a world where what was real isn't, what was dreams is solid, and the only place that's real is the space in-between.

perhaps it is no coincidence that thor just so happens to be the god of thunder, nor that he was also worshipped mainly by farmers. farmers build, provide, and nourish. thunder is the realm of the mighty.

i find myself among Thunder Walkers, being counted as one among them, honored and assisted and extended the standards expected of all Thunder Walkers. i am spoken to as a capable and enlightened equal, honored as a leader, encouraged and assisted as a full member of a group that sees itself as a very large community of equals and --i daresay-- family.

i am a Thunder Walker, wielding in my dreams the mighty Mjolnir. and i shall use it to build great things: i shall build success, relationships, the torque that marks a Thunder Walker. i shall use it to knock down the support beams of such things as stand in my way; things such as Fear, Insecurity, Doubt, Past Turmoil. i will knock down the foundations of the edifice that represents all that held me back, and light shall illumine all. it will brighten the path before me, and provide for me a new way to look at the universe.

i shall build, and nourish, and provide, in the land of the mighty.

rainbow dreams: the movie

lovlies over at sacred suzi's have been making their dream boards for the full moon. i made one last month and it was a blast. i actually have it saved as my wallpaper on my computer.

but i wanted to do something a little more fun this time around. something that would jazz me up a bit more, get my blood racing and my Funk revving.

i bring to you...

...rainbow dreams: the MOVIE!




i am grateful to all the abundance in my life that made this movie possible...

woot!

Happy 300th Post, iGoddess!

actually, this is post #302, but two posts ago, iGoddess broke three hundred, baby, woo! and what was the post? this so rocks...the post was one of GRATITUDE!!!

how funkalicious is that? yay, me! we've come a long way, baby. i was tempted, for a whopping two seconds, to post snippets of where i was this time last year, and perhaps a few years ago. then i thought, "why? Delena of the Funkwild is not that person anymore!" i'm sitting here enjoying purely vegitarian dhaal and limewater while sitting and bs'ing with my lovely, rockin' siblings, just got out of a wickedly delicious shower after a fantasmic day at work...

...and i'm looking forward to a week-long vacation, baby, woo!

and after that? i'm going to part-time: saturdays and sundays only, while supplies last.

life effing rocks, i swear. and so, to celebrate all of this Funktastic, wonderlicious stuff, i present to you a bit of humor with a sweet surprise (aka "a lesson") packed away inside. kinda like a kinderegg, only for your eyes...

daily deelite

1. THANK YOU for lovely days filled with laughter, really politically-incorrect jokes, and tons of understanding

2. i am amazingly grateful for peanut butter and strawberry preserves sammiches...

3. i am utterly and thoroughly grateful for this freaking awesome summer weather!!!

4. i am thankful for my Funkmobile, who really needs an oil change

5. and, as always, i close my eyes and utter thanks for extremely understanding co-workers and greater opportunities

daily deelite

1. thank you, Jiggy Snake, for reminding me that no matter how far i think i've come, i have the vast opportunity of infinity to explore

2. i am grateful for love, in all her forms

3. i am so effing grateful for my sheree; my pussygata; my sexy, mean strap-on queen; my pookie-bear luv of my life

4. i'm thankful for the fun we have with the Haiku Challenge, that there's someone in my life here in the portland metro that appreciates and can match that intelligent creativity

5. i'm so grateful, every day, for each and every opportunity to be amazed by existence...

brezsny-on-the-blog

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Here's my first question: Are you willing to change yourself in ways that would allow you to get more of the love you long for? Here's my second question: If you are willing to change yourself, are you capable of actually carrying out those changes, thereby creating a permanent shift in your identity? If your answer to those two questions is yes, the coming weeks will be prime time to get to work. Now here's my third question: In what precise ways would you have to change yourself in order to get more of the love you long for? Write down or print out your thoughts on a piece of red paper.


well, this isn't red paper, but we'll pretend it is...

Q. am i willing to change myself in ways that would allow me to get more of the love i long for?
A. i already have.

Q. am i capable of actually carrying out those changes, thereby creating a permanent shift in my identity?
A. um, i already have. in fact, it's been so dramatic and noticeable that i've already had a few people asking me what the hell i'm on. =)

Q. in what precise ways would i have to change myself in order to get more of the love i long for?
A. well, i've changed myself in that i've taken down the fortress around my heart, circled in fences and barbed wire. (yes, i'm quoting Sting...). i've laid my heart as open as the sky, ready to receive the multitudinous blessings the universe is conspiring to shower upon me, conceiving in my mind what i want and believing that i can achieve it.

it's that belief that makes all the difference. napoleon hill said, "whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, he can achieve."

just imagine what the mind of woman can conceive, believe, and achieve! (haha, just kidding)

(not really)

(...'kay, maybe a little)

but yes. the belief has made all the difference. i've been asked what i'm on, that this remarkable transformation has taken place? two things:

it was recommended to me that i just start, every day, to think of five things for which i'm grateful. and i did. i started immediately, and it was "daily deelite." it's made a huge difference, just as big as keeping my eyes and heart on my family during and after my Darkest Hour. setting aside the time every day to find five things that filled me with utter gratitude began to train me to see gratitude everywhere; to see many somethings for which my heart just filled to the brim with thankfulness. and with gratitude came joy.

with joy, wonder.

with wonder, humility.

with humility, grace.

with grace, the universe opened up to me.

second, belief has made the difference. i spoke earlier about coming into alignment with my soul and subconscious. i'm not just talking about spouting what i want, and then when i don't get it and life still blows up in my face, griping about it and saying how i knew it wouldn't work anyway. i'm talking about getting down into my psyche, knocking on the doors of my subconscious (after clearing a path through the junk), and befriending the creatures i find there.

and by "creatures," i don't necessarily mean monster-like or creepy. just...Other. perhaps fae-like, perhaps unsidhe (pronounced oon-shee) or unseelie. just creatures Other than human with their own powers, gifts, and abilities that are not only extremely useful, but powerful. befriending them, they went to work for me.

filled with the power of gratitude as i was, trained to see the abundance of the multiverse, i began to recognize my own power. for, you see, i am the universe made manifest. the energy that makes up the universe --the Force that is Everywhere, Everywhen, and Everything-- is thus myself, for i am Of the universe. and this Energy is at one with itself, and at peace with itself, and filled with bliss. this Energy is Aware.

it is the Divine Funk, blissed-out on its own orgasmic yayness.

it is everywhere, so it has nowhere to go or be, nothing pressing urgent to do, so it has no stress. it is everywhen, so it is unconcerned with what might be, or what has been, and therefore has no regret or dread. all outcomes are already there, inside it, so it is at peace. and it is everything, so it has no threats to its safety, the way your own arm, or your hair, wouldn't pose a threat to you.
and i, being a child of the universe, am part of the Everything that is this Energy. i AM this Energy! it is my divine right to be what i am: happy, healthy, peaceful, and living in abundance.

energy is everything, and everything is energy. and thought-energy is the purest, most powerful form of energy there is. if energy is neither gained nor lost, only converted, then when i eat food, that is energy. my body, a finely tuned energetic-combustion machine, converts that fuel into energy for my body to use. and thoughts are part of that energy.

so when i think, where does that energy go?

...back out into the universe...

and the Jiggy Snake hears and answers.

so if i'm thinking negative thoughts, those thoughts have a negative frequency that affects the other energy-forms around me...from my kitties to my siblings, to the trees and concrete and the very air around me. just like fish can feel the subtlest changes in currents in the water around them through their highly sensitive scales, think of energy like the water and everything "solid" is a fish.

the energy we transmit is tangible to the other energy-forms around us. all we are, after all, is energy condensed to a slow vibration. we are energy interacting with energy.

if our thoughts are positive, then like in monsters inc. when they discovered that laughter was ten times more powerful than scream, so are our positive thoughts vastly more powerful than anything else we could possibly transmit.

my belief, my gratitude, my joy, and my grace are felt by everything everywhere and everywhen. every morning i create my day in my own image. and when it says that God created humankind in "His" own image, i don't believe they were talking about how God looks humanoid, or that humans were to be the "supreme" life form upon this planet. i think, instead, God meant that in God's Own Image meant that we, like God, are made of the exact same energy and are, in essence, One. i think God created us so that we could reflect Gods own image of grace, joy, abundance, and peace.

THAT is Gods Own Image...

so i create my day in my own image, and bad days just don't exist for me anymore. i have exactly what i want and need, exactly when i want and need it. there's no more stress at the salon anymore, and i am always smiling. every day is a good day. my customers tip me generously. people receive me well and laugh at my jokes. men hold doors open for me left and right. i remember things quickly and easily. i can do anything i set my mind to.

i am loved.

and because my life is filled with love, and because i believe i am worthy of love, it sets me free to love others. and i do. i love you more than i love you. that saying now makes complete sense to me; it means that i am filled with so much love for you that, by the time i've gotten the words "i love you" out of my mouth, i already love you even more. and it only grows.

if you're reading this right now, i love you. and i mean it. i am completely in love with you, because i am completely in love with myself and we are all of the same energy. how can i love me without also loving you? we are connected, you and i. i could name everyone i know here, and tell them i love them. i could even make an attempt to name everyone i don't know, and tell them i love them. but instead, tonight i will instead utilize the power that is within me, uplinked to the PNN (aka "the collective unconscious") via my subconscious mind, and transmit to you the love that i feel for you. and you will feel it.

because i believe you will.

i love you more than i love you.



selah