archetypal philosophies

whoever thought of the family "tree" was onto something. i prefer to picture a rosebush, however. there are those who are your foundation and prove themselves over time. my bio-dad once said he gives people the Five Year Test. if they fuck up royally in the first five years he knows them, he writes them off.

this is a good test.

those who prove themselves --blood relative or not-- are the bush's roots. and those who prove themselves may be added to the your root structure. after all, roots grow. through any weather, transplanting, or hardship, those roots are strong and anchor your soul. the plant grows, roses bloom and attract butterflies and bees and smiles. people pluck the beautiful blooms to give to their sweethearts, spreading the beauty and symbolic love growing from your family.

some people, however, suck the nutrients from the roots and give nothing back. they're rightfully called "suckers." it takes time to find these, because while they suck your roots dry, the appear as any other branch. only enough time reveals they will grow yet produce no blooms, no beauty, and no love. they are then chopped off at the root with cold necessity, lest they kill the whole plant with their ruthless, selfish, fruitless greed.

family is a choice, a prize rosebush to be cherished and protected and nourished so it can spread beauty and love, fragrance, and be around for generations.

love... love is war, and love is peace. the soul is the battlefield upon which all these powerful human emotions wage their conflict. everything from insecurity and substantiated fear, to hope and faith.

sometimes the long path through that battlefield is overwhelming. the skirmishes can wear a body down. strategy and tactics are a puzzle that exhaust the mind. maintaining battle-readiness is a strain which can fray the strongest soul.

the question, "what if i died tomorrow?" is a good question. it eliminates the obstacles we believe are so necessary, so vitally important. if i died tomorrow, none of those things would matter, and there would be no battle. yet...odds are i will not die tomorrow, and those obstacles and complications are important because there are consequences to all of them, which must be considered. experience teaches us consequences are to be respected. it teaches us temperance.

temperance is a beginning to wisdom.

yet...sometimes after considering all the dangers, the consequences, the tactics and terrain and collateral damage...sometimes the battle must be fought. when the dust settles and the dead are buried, after weapons are cleaned and sheathed once more, life will never be the same.

life is never the same, minute to minute. it's called "living."

but the victory, and the fruits of that victory, far outweigh the pain of battle. far outweigh the heaviness of despair that grips the heart in the thick of battle. far outweigh the helplessness that surrounds the edge of battle.

the heavenly illumination of love shines all the brighter against the memory of despair. the sweet ecstasy of love feels all the sweeter against the pain. the miraculous freedom of love feels all the greater against the helplessness. the battle was necessary, a struggle against those shadows dwelling in your heart which would never allow love to thrive. conquer the battle, conquer the shadows.

find peace. find faith. find hope. but the greatest of these is...

faith flourishes. trust thrives. sweet surrender shines bright. being in love, living in Love, means you have touched the sun and now, no matter how many storms darken your sky, you know it will pass...

...and you keep your face lifted toward the sky, knowing you will feel the sun once more.

measure this

(a hundred thousand thank-you's to megg for sharing this. all i keep thinking of is, "who i am, and who i'm trying to become." it's the only valid measurement.)

Freedom Revolution: the MOVIE!

through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, it's finally ready...

rainbow dreams: the movie

lovlies over at sacred suzi's have been making their dream boards for the full moon. i made one last month and it was a blast. i actually have it saved as my wallpaper on my computer.

but i wanted to do something a little more fun this time around. something that would jazz me up a bit more, get my blood racing and my Funk revving.

i bring to you...

...rainbow dreams: the MOVIE!




i am grateful to all the abundance in my life that made this movie possible...

rainbow dreams: the vision

over at sacred suzie's, she started this lovely monthly activity of creating dream boards. i've been wanting to do it, but when it comes down to it, i've just been letting a whole bunch of excuses get in my way. the reason? i was avoiding disappointment because once upon a time i didn't believe that my dreams were attainable or possible, or even that i really deserved them.

now i pat that delena on the head, give her a hug and a cookie, and send her on her way.

because they ARE attainable, they ARE possible, and I REALLY DO deserve them! and i'm gonna go get them and make them mine.

there are lots of pictures of pregnant women on this dream board. this was deliberate. they're all smiling, loving life, laughing, engaging in healthy habits, and pregnant at the same time. when i was pregnant with li'l *c*, i had hyperemesis gravidarum which is, in a word, miserable. i was teetering the edge of kidney failure due to dehydration, ulcers, and during the delivery itself, both li'l *c* and i almost went to the great gig in the sky. bad, bad experience. but i want more children, and so i have visions of healthy, happy pregnancies to replace traumatizing memories.

of course love and romance are there, too. happy couples smiling and affectionate through every stage of life. it's out there, waiting to blossom, and it will come.

as will the children. that pic of a mom with her two kids at the computer took me hours of searching before i tripped over it. i wanted a picture that portrayed a mom, with a small boy and girl, teaching them. i want a boy and a girl (for a total of 3 kids counting li'l *c*), and i want to be able to stay at home with them and school them myself.

the horses? yeah, i want horses, and i want a beach house. i want to gallop across the sand at sunset bareback and free. that pic in the corner of the beach house? yeah, i want that. maybe even a strip of private beach, with the freedom to ride like lady godiva.

the falling ben franklins should be obvious. money not for money's sake, but for the freedom it represents and the opportunities to help even more people with that money. because money falling from the sky isn't just money; it's financial wealth. i'm thinking BIG.

and that pic of the perfectly rendered 3-D spine? i'm sick of scoliosis and all the lovely symptoms it creates: everything from crippling sciatica to misplaced ribs to numbness (as in pseudo-paralysis) and spasms. i'm even convinced that a crooked spine is messing up my spinal cord, so all my other health "inconveniences" are manifesting symptoms of my body unable to really communicate with itself because my body's information superhighway has traffic jams. so i see greater health and a perfectly aligned spine. they say it's impossible for 100% spinal correction of the curvature. i say it's mine for the taking.

don't overlook the adorable little black-and-white pic of the little pug. i know it's not visible even in the larger pic, but i doctored the name tag so it reads "Pupcake." i want a male fawn-coated pug, and i wanna name him pupcake. if anyone remembers strawberry shortcake (the 80's version, not the bastardized parody of modern phallocratic franchize rape), huckleberry pie had a dog named pupcake. i thought this was adorable, and ever since i was around three years-old i've always wanted a pupcake. i was crazy for the strawberry shortcake and friends fad. still am.

and you can't forget the actual background itself. i'm headed for tropical paradise, baby, yeah!