...5 hours 9 minutes, and counting.

my flight leaves at 16:05 today, and as i sat down to write this entry, it's 10:56. i woke up yesterday and realized it was my last full day of no *m*. the impish, dry-humored side of me pulled the corner of my mouth up in my old wry half-smile as it occurred to me i might want to call in sick to work and go downtown, then call up everyone i knew and throw a last-minute hen party.

i didn't, though. i went to work, and actually yesterday was a very good day. it was quiet, for the most part. it's been slow at work, and i only groomed two dogs. the tips from those dogs, however, bought me dinner. which, i must say, i was glad for since money's been so tight with the payroll disaster and i've been going hungry on those nights i haven't been over at *ds* and *ks*'s apartment.

boho mom, you'd be so proud of me. these last two weeks have been an immersion in the bohemian lifestyle, to include sitting on the floor (no furniture) while crocheting afghans and potholders, going hungry, drinking lots of looseleaf chai, and shaving curls of handmade goatmilk lavender soap to do my laundry, lol.

i've loved it, though. the demon children are affectionate, cuddly, purry, and a hilarious source of entertainment. my apartment's been comfortingly quiet, and ever since i put that nightlight in my room, sleeping's been enjoyable, too. although i haven't enjoyed the solitary state, however temporary i know it's been. the only time in my life i've lived somewhat alone, it was when i was married to big *c* and it was just me and li'l *c* at home together while big *c* worked double shifts to get away from me. and an infant, and then a toddler, is anything but quiet. and we kept each other company. but that's the closest to living alone that i've ever come.

and i've decided i enjoy roomates. perhaps i've always been communal, although that wouldn't be surprising. i grew up in a large mexican family, which is synonymous for "noisy and obnoxious." i loved it when it was the six of us (*ks*, *ds*, *kas*, *mj*, and *cc*) with four or five cats and a dog. it was cramped, and we got on each other's nerves, but i always felt safe and loved. sure, there's a freedom when living alone that you really don't have when you're living with anyone else, but i know i can always just get up and go somewhere whenever i want. i've made it abundantly clear to *m* that i'm anything but tether-downable.

*mj* called me a free spirit once, and *ds* and *ks* call me their stray kitty. *mj* laughs at my gypsy feet, and everyone else wonders why i refuse to settle down. i suppose after living in a cage for two dozen years, any animal would be wary of the thing that even remotely resembles captivity. we'll see if *m* has what it takes to coax a stray kitty indoors: a cozy fire; a warm, soft, and comfortable place to curl up; a gentle hand willing to give affection; and maybe a collar with a bell, but only so long as time is given to me to decide if i want to wear it, and so long as the collar is pink.

so we'll drive up tomorrow, and i got thursday off from work so i could help *m* unload the moving truck. then, sunday is dinner at the parents' and a sort of "welcome home, *m*" celebrating his first sunday dinner as a member of the household. next sunday, the girls at the salon had all wanted to go to one of the haunted houses we have around here, and they chose the 28th because they knew *m* could come, too. they're all excited to have him up here, someone they can interact with and get to know, instead of a disembodied name that just comes out of my mouth whenever i decide to talk about him.

everyone's excited he's finally coming up here. i... well, i've decided to withhold excitement until i have a better idea how this will all turn out. i really want to be happy with this whole thing, so i've been doing my best not to set myself up for too much disappointment. so i suppose as long as i just don't press, and i let things be, it might work.

as my bio-mom used to say all the time, and it used to irritate me now but as i've gotten older i find myself using it a lot, "we'll see."


Anonymous said...

As long as my stray kitty doesn't turn up tattered, I won't have to pull out the polar bear claws and maybe chew on his head. (Assuming I am the first one to get to him, which I doubt.... I'm the slowest of the clan.)

Anonymous said...

Don't worry about anything. It is going to be a glorious, wondrous, fabulous fusing of two soulmates.
I am so happy for you and so pleased to read that your family & friends are excited to include *m* in stuff.
You crack me up with your bohemian living in your bare apartment, but perhaps it was an important time to spend with your *self* and reflect, regroup, and prepare for what comes next.
Not a doubt in my mind that this won't work out and be a fabulous ever after with you & *m*.
....in any case, I got your back!!
Congrats and may the funk be with you!!!

Mich said...

I guess I'm more of a loner. I prefer to live alone (with Trinity) and surround myself with a a handful of friends who I trust and love dearly.

I don't know if I could ever live with someone again. I wonder what that says about me ...

I love hearing about your life, your stories are weaved with magic.

Enjoy gypsy goddess - live the most funkalicious of funkalicious lives!