adventures in gestating

i know, my bad.

here i wrote all about how excited i was that the iGoddess child was going to be here, and then dropped off the face of the planet.


oi vey. so no, i didn't really fall off the face of the planet. pregnancy hormones are kicking my ass, though. for the life of me, i can't recall if i ever mentioned the hyperemesis gravidarum which plagued me when i was pregnant with li'l *c*, but i'm sure i must have. that hit around the twelfth week and lasted until his birthday.

well, this time around, it hit around the fifth week, and it hit HARD. i'm still down, and i'm at thirteen weeks. by this time, i figure i've lost more than twenty pounds (last weigh-in was 18 lbs down a week ago), have had two ER visits for dehydration and, of all embarrassing things, fainting. yay super-low blood pressure.

so it's going to be another one of those. thank the gods for Zofran because, without that magic little 8mg pill 3 times a day, i wouldn't even be able to eat the little that i do. it's going to be a tough ride, baby.

also, i dumped the sperm donor. there's something about men that like the idea of a thing more than the actual thing. yeah, i have a problem with those. not that i'm keen to put up the details here, but suffice it to say that in this iVillage of ours, none of us really shy away anymore from making the tough-but-right choices. i like to think that i've continued that little tradition.

been thinking about you a lot, boho mom, and our conversations about single motherhood. and it wasn't a tear-filled or painful choice, either. i'm not sitting here eating ice cream, using up kleenex, and watching titanic or anything. actually, thanks i think in part to the nesting instinct, it felt more like house-cleaning than anything.

though i am eating ice cream, it's mainly for the heartburn. OMG, the heartburn!

now, for the first time, i actually feel excited about this whole thing. in my head i'm already decorating the funk palace, and can already see myself in the kitchen with the iGoddess child, side by side and cooking something gluten-free and awesome with the white album playing in the background.

it looks good, and my way finally looks clear. so, single moms in the audience (both current and former!), you ready to add another to your exalted ranks?


Anonymous said...

..."i dumped the sperm donor".
Welcome to my world. Making the "tough-but-right choices" is a biggie, and you won't regret it. There's something about growing a human that puts everything in perspective for us and the answers are right there in front of us.

I'm so sorry to hear this has been rough on you, but hey, your body has 9 months to prepare for the arrival of the iGoddess child...I'm sure you'll start feeling better soon, hopefully hormones will balance themselves out.

Welcome back ...iGoddess on the blog! :)

Jane said...

ditto to what Boho said. There is nothing more wasteful or neglectful to your human spirit than hanging on to a bad relationship. The harder choice is to stay in that suck ass relationship. Your child will get all the love he/she needs. It's going to be a fantabulous event when the baby comes in to this world!