brezsny-on-the-blog

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The planet Saturn symbolizes the preservative and conservative tendencies of evolution. It teaches us to learn from the past and keeps us from rushing into the frontier before we're ready. Uranus, on the other hand, represents future shocks, both the disturbing and benevolent kinds. It disturbs our sleep in order to wake us up and energizes us to reinvent ourselves on the fly. What happens when these two planets slip into an intimate dynamic, as they are now? Will one of them prevail over the other in a great battle? Or will they coordinate their efforts artfully in a riveting, gorgeous dance? Amazingly enough, the outcome depends in part on you.


i remember my bio-dad telling me about a fight he was in once, a long, long time ago. he said that time sort of slowed down and he could think so clearly, see every swing coming like it was in slow-motion. he had enough time to see exactly how his opponent was going to move, where those fists would fly, and how to catch and counter every blow. he won that fight.

last winter, one very early, very icy morning, the Funkmobile and i almost went over the edge of an on-ramp on my way to the salon. there was so much ice that, even going as slow as i was, when i touched the brake, the Funkmobile went into a glide across the intersection. time slowed to a crawl. in the time it took to slide fifteen feet, i thought, "wow. so this is how i go, huh? i'd always wondered... hmm, when losing control of a car, turn into the slide. slip the car into neutral. foot off the brake, dee. wow, that edge is coming up close. thank the gods i have no regrets; i just hope someone finds me and can tell my family. thank goddess there's no other traffic this early, i'd hate to cause a collision with someone else. jeez, we're still sliding?" and just like that, the Funkmobile glided to a stop not two feet from the edge. i was so calm. i put the car back into gear, and got onto the freeway so i wouldn't be late for work.

some time after that, my dad saw this documentary on cable about the human brain, and some of the funkywild things it can do. in life-or-death situations, the brain kicks into uber hyperdrive. it actually shuts down any other function that's not absolutely vital to its survival: everything from your digestive system to any or all of your five senses can be shut completely down. even your breathing is slowed to a minimum, and all resources are diverted up to the brain so it can survive as long as possible, and operate as fast as possible so it can figure out a way to survive. that's why time seems to slow to a crawl: thought processes are sped up to unimaginable degrees. even the fight-or-flight panic reaction is turned off. the brain needs to think.

it's kind of like being in "the zone," to the nth power.

i think saturn + uranus is going to create an effect similar: with one force reminding me of everything i've learned and everything that has gone before, and another force is the shock force (both benevolent and disturbing) that hurtles us into hyperdrive, what can the effect be except time slowing to a crawl as my soul vaults into The Zone?

business is going to pick up. the Year of the Delena draws to a close, and the 22 Years of World Orgasm is just beginning...starting with the Year of the Funktastic Wow.

there are some gigantic hurdles to clear, too. lots of inertia to overcome, objects at rest requiring massive amounts of energy to turn into objects in motion; and some objects in motion that need to be turned into objects at rest. some...objects at eternal rest, so mote it be.

i'm going to need the power of being in The Zone, my sight so clear thanks to my hyperdrive soul watching time crawl by. i know things i didn't used to know, and i've grown in ways that have let me feel the sunlight on my face. i shine as a beacon for others, in my heart and my growing love. it's almost like throwing yourself off a cliff...and realizing you've known how to fly all along.