the lovely jaime over at starshyne productions has had wishcasting wednesday for a long time, now. i usually forget about it because up until recently, my memory wasn't so hot. but thanks to my affirmations and harnessing what i know about the Law of Attraction, my memory is extensive! i can remember things quickly and easily! (and that, my lovelies, is my memory affirmation!)
so here i am, jumping into wishcasting wednesdays. today the wish is, "to whom do you wish to send some love?"
well, honestly, i wanted to send love to *rf*, who moved out here to get away from a horrible marriage. it turns out he moved here for me, which i told him at the outset was the wrong reason to move. but move he did, and when *ds* and *ks* proved for once and all that they're just incurable fucktards, i realized it was well past time to let them go and leave their poison behind. unfortunately, that also meant leaving *rf*, who blamed me for feeling abandoned. (had he moved for the right reasons, the abandonment wouldn't have been an issue)
of course, that whole story is more centered around the theme of leaving the fucktards out of our lives. i didn't accept blame for things that weren't my responsibility, and because i flat-out refused to accept it, as did i refuse to apologize for certain things i didn't have to (you DO NOT apologize just because someone else apologizes; if you're not wrong, STAND YOUR GROUND!!). so we parted on bad terms.
but i made the choice not to let blossoming fucktard behavior pollute my life anymore, and that meant cutting him off.
but still, i think about him sometimes, and i hope he's getting his head on straight. he deserves it, after the miserable time he had with his wife. bad relationships are poison and should be left behind, period. he had the courage to go, which is more than i can say for another ex-friend of mine.
but still, i am made of love. if i've loved you, then in some chamber of my heart, there is always love for you, small but burning brightly.
i send love out to *rf*. i hope you're really out there, working to improve your life. you deserve nothing less than self-love and all the happiness the universe holds.
a-men. a-woman. ohhhmmm... and hallelujah.