my lovely, amazing, brilliant, creative, genuine ingenious bohippian Funkmaster...
i tried to leave you a comment, but blogger is a bitch and says that my response cannot exceed 4,096 characters. i know! the nerve! i thought that, too. sheesh.
so i thought i'd put it here. i mean, there was no way in hell i was going to break it up into two comments, or -gasp!- try to EDIT. hell no.
i love you.
I feel your pain, my Funkalicious Divamaster. I feel your sorrow, your despair, your confusion, your sense of responsibility overwhelming you.
My own Funkmobile's been sitting since I was 5mos pregnant. So I *get* it. And my bio-dad's been regularly sending me money, so I get *that*, too. I do.
I love you. I admire, respect, and celebrate you. You know I do. =) So this is all from a place of love and sisterhood from the Menstrual Temple of the Funky Grail.
You say, "Can we ever gain control of the circumstances that we face?" The answer is yes. You say you subscribe to "thoughts become things," yet still see some aspects of your life as happening *to* you. Remember: We Are All One. It is all One. It is not, "Some thoughts become things." It is, "Thoughts become things.
All of them. I have had to learn this, too. Now I have embraced my role and have changed it.
I'm not suggesting you're not taking responsibility for your life, and all that's in it. You are. Amazingly. Strongly. Confidently. Willingly. ...But not happily.
I know you're familiar with energy work. Our thoughts are part of the energy of the Universe; this is basic. Somewhere, as you focus so hard on hating poverty and resenting it and struggling with it, you are telling the Universe, "I struggle with poverty!" And the Universe says, "Yes! You do!" And since your focus is there, that must be what you want more of.
Sweetheart, you are swimming in abundance in so many, many ways. Begin with gratitude for them. You know what they are. They feed your soul, give you joy, bring you delight. They lift your spirits, give you a sense of freedom and success and pride. Great!
Begin there. If you're sick of poverty, realize it no longer serves you. Thank it for the lessons it has taught you about life, yourself, your creativity and ingenuity. Just bow and thank it for its lessons. Then, without even saying farewell (because you don't need to expend that energy on it), while still in the spirit of gratitude, turn toward those things you have in abundance.
See the abundance. Thank the Universe, the Goddess, the Great Multiversal Jiggy Snake, whoever you want to. Thank yourself, too, because you participated!
Focus on them. List them out if you must. Whatever works for you, do it. Then focus on that. Go about your life because you must, but don't put energy into it. Just do it, and trust your muscle memory. But focus on the gratitude and abundance. Start there.
It is better to give than to receive? Well, we cannot give what we do not have ourselves. And my dear, no matter what level of government-defined 'poverty' you've been at, if you look back at your life, there has always been money. When you needed it, there has always been enough. Somehow. You eat, you keep your hatchling fed, housed, clothed, and loved. Sure, it might be through help, but there is always money.
Trust that. In fact, your thoughts have made it so. You say, "We'll get by...somehow." Now those thoughts can be more formed, more disciplined. Know with confidence there is always money when you look. Because it's true! Keep that thought. Build upon it.
You have a car. You have transportation. These two thoughts are true. You keep the disconnect in your head because you say, "I can't drive my car," and the Universe says, "You're right! You can't!" Learn to meld your two truths together: you have a car, and you have transportation. You are able to get where you want to go. There is always money. You have tremendous abundance.
Keep the focus. Build it. And gratitude. Always gratitude. And joy. The Universe hears. "Before you have asked, I will have already answered." It just takes a little time because we are in the realm where energy moves at a slower vibration, and we exist inside of Time. It will take time, but just be grateful because you *know* it is already arriving.
Check yourself when you begin thinking, "GAH! It's taking forever to get here!" The Universe will hear and say, "You're right! It is taking forever!" and it will.
We are moving through time. Your abundant life is here, now. Your working, insured vehicle is also there. It exists. You are moving closer toward it through time. Simply Know it Is, already. Smile knowingly, feel gratitude for it, and focus on your abundance. There is always money. Your hatchling is always provided for.
And you, my lovely dear, are always going to be all right. =)
Because you are. And I am grateful. =)