that was the sound of me hitting the bone-chilling, unforgiving waters of reality, and after sleeping on it, i'm only now coming up for air.
so last night was my first real "date" with *sy*. it was actually pretty fun. i met a friend of his, and his friend's fiancé, and we had dinner at TGI Friday's. it was kinda funny because, while i think *sy* told them i was vegetarian, everyone forgot. it's really easy to do that, i know. hell, sometimes even i forget it. either way, it was an adventure trying to find something delena-friendly on the menu. now i remember why i never go there, ha ha.
we had a really good time, laughing and joking and talking video games. i was showered with compliments by my date. but then, he always showers me with compliments because he's just sweet and thoughtful like that. especially after being so affectionately starved since well before lughnassadh, *sy*'s exactly what i needed. then again, the more i sit back and listen to him, or watch him, it seems like i'm just what he needed, too. it's kind of nice that way.
then we get back to his place.
all i have to say is OMFG. there's his ex, with their daughter, and suddenly this red-headed harpy is in my face trying her damnedest to make me feel like the other woman. except i already know the story, so all i really had to do was sit back and marvel at the fucked-uppedness of some people's mental and emotional health. even last night, after getting back home i was still in a state of shock, not because of the confrontation, but because i simply couldn't wrap my mind around how deep some people's fucked-uppedness really goes.
made me feel perfectly sane and reasonable, actually. i mean, we all have our issues, but jeezus!
i was quite graceful, actually, even though she was lying, insulting me, and even put her hands on me a few times. diosa mia, i'm way too old for that kind of drama.
however, i did feel a little badly, though. i left *sy* with that harpy trying to sink her talons into him. but what else could i have done? it wasn't my home, it wasn't my ex (thank goddess!), and it really wasn't my problem. now, should *sy* and i really get serious, then it'll become my problem. but the future is not now, so i have the luxury of not needing to think about it for a while.
later on, closer to midnight, my phone rings. i can tell from the ring it's *sy* calling, so i pick it up and answer with, "so is the psycho hose beast gone?" and her voice answers: "no, i'm still here." in retrospect, it's hilarious. hell, it was funny even then, but i had to be dignified. she'd called to apologize. i was expecting her to say, "he's mine again, so stay the hell away from him." instead, however, she said she could see that i was good for him and that he's happy being with me, and perhaps she overreacted. (ya think?) we talked about their daughter, and how she'd like me not to be around their kid while he and i are getting to know each other. and you know what? that's perfectly fine. i have a hatchling myself, and big *c* and i have a similar arrangement. if one of us gets serious about someone and wants to expose li'l *c* to that new person, both parents have to meet them first. now, whether big *c* is actually honoring that agreement is totally beyond me, and i wouldn't be surprised if he's not. but anyway.
it was an absolute shock, her calling me to say those things. she even said she was sorry for crashing our first date. shocked quite a few people, actually, because of course i immediately texted the friend that introduced the two of us as soon as the drama went down. but now, i think, i actually have it in me to respect the ex. it was the adult and responsible thing to do, and i respect her for it. i know i could actually be able to interact with her in a civilized way should we be in the same room together again. in fact, if i know myself, i would actually be friendly. honestly, i don't like animosity and conflict. i mean, who does? but if and where possible, i try to make friends of my enemies, or i just simply leave well enough alone. i'm really not all that good at hostility.
of course, the question now becomes: do i want to choose to put this into my life? now that i'm aware --partially-- the extent of things in my potential boyfriend's life, is it something i can and want to handle? his having a hatchling doesn't faze me. his having a messy, hostile, potentially invading past relationship does, however. he called me this morning, making sure i'm still talking to him, really. he sounded stressed out and prepared for disappointment. i think i'll call and leave a nice voicemail, let him know that all i did last night was think about him and hope he was okay.
now, does he have a few things to sort out before we go any further? sure he does. but do i want to go further? actually...yeah, i think i do.
talk about reality, huh?