eat, drink, and be merry...

...for tomorrow i diet.

the other day, during my drug test and physical for the Orkin inspector position, i weighed in at 204 lbs.

this. was. horrifying.

i mean, after having a roomate who was morbidly obese, i saw the disgusting horrors of letting myself go, so it always gave me incentive to keep active and maintain a respectable diet.

but seeing 204 on that old-fashioned, calibrated counterweight scale made me very Not Pleased At All.

so starting tomorrow --the first weekday of a new month-- i'm going all-out. cold turkey quitting all my lovely, lovely carbs. no more eating meat simply because it's convenient for the people around me (and yes, being a vegetarian is DAMN DIFFICULT in a house full of enthusiastic carnivores). no more bagels and cream cheese.

*cries*

on the other hand, this position at Orkin will give me opportunities that no other job has, simply because of my salary. i plan on going back to total system cleansing (intestinal, kidney, liver), detox flushes, and i have made a promise to myself to work with a personal trainer and nutritionist the moment i have a steady income and have worked out my budget. considering i have 3 job offers, all of which i'm going to take, money will be easy.

and we all know that when delena sets her mind to something, she always gets it.

my goal is not a set number, not a weight or measurement. i know what i want to see in the mirror, and a feeling i want to have when i see my end result in the mirror.

how many people remember linda hamilton as sarah connor in Terminator 2?? or sigourney weaver as ripley in the Alien trilogy? that's my goal: to look as close to my two favorite action heroines as i physically can.




so let's see...i decided to get out of my depressive, self-injuring anti-Funk...and i did.

i decided to create the solid, loving family foundation and only have people in my life that supported and loved me wildly...and i did.

i decided i wanted love in my life...and i do.

i decided to take the next logical steps into the personal development major leagues, including school, networking, and working with professionals...and i did.

now, i'm deciding to sculpt and fashion my body into the most gorgeous, healthy, strong, and beautiful temple for my spirit...and i'm going to do it.

ask any figure in history who made a difference what their secret was, how they accomplished what they set out to do. mother teresa, gandhi, editor-in-chief of the L.A. Times...they all say the same thing:

i just set my mind to it.