1.30.2007

the resume

Delena's Heart
Main Artery
Circulatory System


Objectives: To reside in happy, healthy, and functional surroundings which offer greatest potential for my freedom and well being with the most room for personal growth

Professional Experience:

(July 2004 – present) Delena Global, a subdivision of iGoddess Inc.
Job Title: Independent Goddess Consultant
Duties:
- Owning my womanhood
- Reclaiming independence
- Being slave to no business other than my own
Status: Delena Global is small. Output still exceeds income, but such is to be expected in the early days of an independent small business. Overhead is negligible, considering there is only one employee. Vacations, weekends, and overtime/holiday pay is nonexistent. Unlimited potential for growth, income, and philanthropy, however possibility of acquiring new partner is nil. iGoddess Inc. is not into acquisitions.


(April 2003 – July 2004) *N* International
Job Title: Beloved/Rebound
Duties:
- Learning to face myself
- Questioning, challenging myself, growing in wondrous ways
- Learning lessons in evaluating if I'm worth being taken advantage of
Reason for leaving: Took pre-agreed hiatus for medical reasons. Work environment was non-conducive to mental stability, and medical leave-of-absence was requested. Involuntarily terminated without severance pay, or even a chance to clean out my desk. Miscommunication and assumptions on both sides contributed to final breakdown of employment. Re-dedication to job was met with flat refusal, and *N* Int’l was already interviewing to replace my position. Seriously considered self-employment.

(May 1999 – April 2003) Big *C* & Son
Job Title: Full Partner & Senior Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations
Duties:
- Loving unconditionally
- Maintaining infinite patience in the face of multiple stressors
- Multi-tasking:
- full-time field work (on call 24 hours, 7 days a week)
- maintaining clean and functional surroundings to FDA and federal safety standards
- fulfilling position as CEO of *C* Home Business Solutions
- Maintaining positive outlook while situations become more bleak
- Maintain super-human levels of cheer while basic emotional needs are ignored
- Expected to keep healthy ego and self-respect while meaningful and cherished items, activities, and people are dropped in order to fulfill other duties until job and life are indistinguishable
- Adjusted to incorporate additional staff member at great detriment to physical health
- Fulfill all expected duties, in addition to partner's duties, without appreciation
- Routinely adopt additional tasks not in job description without complaint
Reason for Leaving: Extreme dissatisfaction with position, disillusionment, and work environment was a threat to mental and emotional stability. Receiving little respect at the corporate level, taken for granted, and requests for additional funding and routine maintenance of basic emotional and human needs went ignored. My name wasn't even on the company header.


(September 1998 - May 1999) Big *C* Incorporated
Job Title: Sweetheart
Duties:
- Loving blindly
- Enjoying hockey games
- Expected to be myself
Reason for Leaving: Proposition for advancement to Full Partner (see above) and accepted promotion


(October 1997 - November 1997) *JS* Unlimited
Job Title: Soulmate and Best Friend
Duties:
- Marveling that two human beings could be so beautiful and harmonious together
- Baring my soul like never before
- Reviving a failing belief in Love
Reason for Leaving: *RJ* Enterprises was incensed that I gave my notice and came to work for *JS* Unlimited and threatened to dissolve all associations between both companies unless I was let go. Decided a career change was in order and worked anywhere from two to eight part-time jobs for the next ten months. Just goes to show not to work for a lifelong best friend.

(October 1993 – July 1997) The *JD* Corporation
Job Title: Chattel
Duties:
- Enduring subtle humiliation masked as friendly teasing
- Tolerating disrespect of my person and pretending it didn’t bother me
- Tolerating fickle and selfish egocentrism
- Believing disrespect and disloyalty were my fault
- Believing physical abuse was acceptable form of reprimand
- Accepting sexual disrespect as the norm
- Lying to parental units about whereabouts
- Sneaking away from home premises for nightly trysts to keep from getting fired
- Set aside self-respect and dignity in exchange for male approval
- Learning the finer points of co-dependency and turning it into an art form
Reason for Leaving: Position terminated upon news of possible staff addition, but after already enduring eviction from parental units. In job interim, either quit or was terminated no less than a half dozen times and worked multiple part-time jobs simultaneously in-between career with The *JD* Corporation.


(February 1996 – June 1996) *TMcD* & Co.
Job Title: Whatever
Duties:
- Using employer to rebel against and pick fights with parental units
- Benefiting from elevated status in social situations due to position
- Experimented with numerous first-time situations
Reason for Leaving: I may be dumb and make mistakes, but I’m not stupid!


(October 1992 – October 1993) Ed Inc.
Job Titles: Angel Baby, Beloved, Beautiful, Best Friend
Duties:
- Being showered with affection and respect
- Lavished with praise and appreciation for my artistic talents
- Enjoying long afternoons sitting in the park and reading poetry to each other
- Offered the opportunity to learn how men should treat women at an early age
Reason for Leaving: Offered a position with The *JD* Corporation. Okay, so maybe I am stupid.


Education:
The LeRoy Sanchez School of Misogyny, Bigotry, and Hypocrisy: Institute for the Irrational, Shameful, and Wasted Sex, Attended January 14, 1979 – August 10, 1999; Graduated Summa Cum Laude
The Universal School of Hard Knocks, Attendance ongoing; GWA 1.159 and candidate for Magna Cum Laude

Major Accomplishments:
- Survived mental, emotional, verbal, physical, and multiple counts of sexual abuse
- Succeeded in securing shelter and financial means in the face of eviction by parental units more than once
- Learned strength and how to be a survivor in the face of numerous and daunting adversities
- Survived and conquered alcoholism without help
- Pulled self through several mental breakdowns and severe depression, also without help
- Learned the finer points of Suicide Hotline techniques through discussions with own psyche
- Either unlearned or have already taken steps to unlearn everything taught at The LeRoy Sanchez School

Weaknesses:
- Hypersensitive
- Vulnerable to criticism
- Too easily filled with doubt
- Worries too much
- Expects the worst and has difficulty hoping for the best
- Doesn’t know how to let go
- Lacks trust
- Lacks faith in abilities
- Withdraws at first sign of potential for pain
- Rejects kindness and bites the hand that feeds if threat or potential for pain is perceived
- Struggles with honest evaluations of true self worth
- Elitist in opinions of who is worth affection and effort
- Willing to sacrifice all for loved ones

Strengths:
- Undying loyalty (when deserved)
- Honest
- Generous
- Considerate
- Willing to sacrifice all for loved ones
- Loving
- Affectionate
- Good listener
- Doesn’t judge
- Can endure tragedy
- Doesn’t shrink in the face of hardship
- Courageous

References available upon request

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I've always had a problem with your resume. I mean, it's a hard read, sweetheart. It's light-hearted and humorous, but it's also very stark and sad. And most of all, like everything you write, true.

Anyway, in a side note, I want to be a part of Delena Global. Head of Security, maybe. How 'bout it? I've even let you sexually harass me. LOL.

~Greggo