what's that word again?

from the oxford-delena dictionary

amalgam
n.

1. a combination of diverse elements
2. a mixture
3. the most accurate word for all of delena's feelings right now


i actually sat here for about ten minutes trying to figure out what's that word again. tired? yes, but... accomplished? well, yeah, but... ah, satisfied! definitely, however...

*sigh*

it's just so many things. then it hit me: amalgam! yeah, that's it! it's that variety of tired that comes from completing very satisfying work. y'know, when your bones are water and your muscles quiver at their limit, your smile is a quiet effort and your head is hollow...yet it's not the kind of tired that leaves you wasted and empty, only filled larger than you were when you began?

yes, that's it. that's it completely.

i found out today that i pulled in twice as much money as projected, twice as much as the girls in my position. and i did more dogs. like, double-digits more. i had more add-ons (extras to include in the basic grooming package), more premiums (top-dollar grooms), everything.

i so rock!

of course, in order to rock as hard as me, you gotta work almost two weeks straight, have one day off, work another nine...close the salon back to back with opening it the next day...work overtime...come in on your days off...take the brunt when someone doesn't feel like coming in to work and she's booked solid (or overbooked). y'know, the usual.

we're down less than a skeleton crew over there, and everyone's feeling the hurt. it feels like i'm the only one working as much as i am over there, busting my back to the point of burning (my tailbone's on fire constantly now, and The Spot is in perma-spasm). i'm taking anti-inflammatories and painkillers when i abhore pharmaceuticals. it's a measure of the pain that i take them at all, and i know that. carpal tunnel syndrome has reared its ugly head this past week or so, and it got so bad i couldn't flow any energy at all out of my hands.

at all. that's never happened before.

but it's been good. i'm tired. by the Funky Ya-Ya, i'm so dang tired...but it's a good tired.