double take?

hey dad!

y'know, i just wanted to say "thank you" for the absolute fantastic genes you passed on. these sanchez genes are really fantastic, i think. the last few months i've gotten a ton of compliments, people telling me i'm pretty, i'm beautiful, how intelligent i am, etc. i've kind of (only kind of) gotten back into the dating world. nothing serious, just going out and having fun and enjoying myself, and one thing i hear *very* often is, "how is it a smart, beautiful woman like yourself is still single?" of course, i laugh and just say thank you (while in my head i'm saying, "because i know better!" ha ha...) but i just wanted to say thank you. sanchez make some really great people.

i love you!

i sent this email to my bio-dad yesterday afternoon, and actually got a near-immediate reply. in it, he told me that he's been dating too --nothing serious, just going out and doing what he wants to do, and having fun. he says he's really enjoying this "old...new me," as he put it, and equates it to when he was around 25, only much wiser this time around.

then a bit later, i was in the car with *ks* and it hit me...

...my bio-dad and i are out dating...

...at the same time. kinda disturbing.

kinda great. ...but kinda disturbing.

i mean, i'm not one of those daughters who's going to agonize about her father going out and dating --oh gasp!-- or anything like that, and certainly not going to blubber about the indecency of it all. actually, i'm ecstatic that he's as happy as he is, and that he's really gotten out and enjoyed life and rediscovered the joys that are out there. since the divorce, he's really been a different person and it warms my heart immeasurably to know he's so happy.

i know it just can't be --because you can't change the past-- but a part of me wishes for many reasons that my bio-parents had split up when i was still in grade school, preferably earlier. preferably before i hit preschool, in those days when *k* would pick me up out of bed in the middle of the night, bring me to her bed, and huddle with me and cry while our parents fought. i remember only being confused, wondering why there was shouting, and knowing whatever was being said was very serious and was scaring my big sister. i knew it was affecting us kids (it was only her and myself at that time). i knew bio-mom threatened to take us away. i know they fought about *k*, who wasn't my bio-dad's but i wasn't supposed to know that. i knew a lot of things back then.

perhaps all of us would have been filled with an entire universe's expanse-worth of happiness if my bio-parents hadn't stayed together as long as they did. for their reasons --whether or not they were right, or logical, or inspired by love-- they didn't, and we have the Today upon which we find ourselves standing.

standing firm, i'm glad to report.

it just...it was a small awakening, i suppose. my dad's out there, having the same revelations (somewhat) and experiences and inspirations that i am. he has more life and wisdom to draw upon, but i think i'm doing all right for myself. sure, there's a lot i still have to learn, a lot more i still have to put into practice, and tons i will never understand. but for now, i think i'm doing pretty good. and so's my bio-dad, and that really is a comfort.

you go, dad. you go.

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