brezsny-on-the-blog

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Throx.com sells you socks in threes, so if you lose one you have an extra to take its place. Their ingenious marketing plan resembles the approach of some romance-addicts I know, who always date two or three people just in case they get dumped by one of them. No bouts of loneliness to worry about! Which brings us to my main advice for you this week, Capricorn: Have a back-up plan. Keep an alternative handy. Make sure you won't run out of the stuff you really need.


i woke up today and felt a little better. didn't want to be awake (the rapidly changing weather is wreaking havoc on my allergies) but i had gotten enough sleep. the food angst from yesterday was gone, and what a relief! lemme tell you, inside my own head i was pacing like a caged and very tense lion desperately wanting a chipotle burrito.

i resisted, for which i'm very relieved because i don't know how i would have handled being disappointed in myself today. plus, it helped that i think i had a touch of that flu that's been going around. anything i ate felt like a churning rock in my stomach.

ewww...

but there were backups at home that saved me, like mr. brezsny says. i ate a good, old-fashioned sandwich with lots of hot mustard, pickles, horseradish, and spinach. very fun. i boiled red onions and red potatoes, mashed them up, piled on the garlic, a little butter, soymilk, and fresh ground pepper, and had the most wonderful whipped potatoes on the side.

today i'm going to the store and i don't care if it's only the beginning of march. i'm buying avocadoes, romaine lettuce, cilantro, and anything else i need, and i'm gonna make me a healthier version of the chipotle burrito. i'm also bringing home more coconut oil because you just can't beat its benefits.

this goal is forcing me to think really creatively. i used to be so good about food and my eating habits. living with *ds* and *ks* polluted much more than just my fucktard intolerance. with all their complaining about my vegetarianism, about how it was so hard to go out with me to eat, how it was so hard to compromise grocery shopping for foods that all three of us could eat, how it was so hard living with a vegetarian (jeezus, they bitched more and more the healthier their company...should have listened to my instinct about them long ago), i began to ease up on my strict requirements...and became almost as disgustingly fat as they are. it's shameful.

so i'm having to break a lot of bad habits i adopted to make living with them easier on me. it's also liberating, though. it's like, "ahh! now i can go back to my regularly scheduled program."

it is definitely more difficult, turning on a dime in order to fulfill my goal of becoming an Eye-Popping Amazon of Wild Hotness, but having back-ups and alternatives handy really make the difference between keeping my commitment and being weak and letting myself be a victim to bad habits and addictions.

because i know both are a choice, and i have to choose to be a disappointment to myself should i fall off the wagon. and why would i want to choose that? especially in the face of all the health and self-esteem benefits, not to mention being visually pleasing...