7.21.2007

all good things...

so i just broke up with greggo. i have a huge headache now.

but the dark and gloomy cloud that's been hanging over my head has suddenly cleared and i feel worlds better.

a good pronoiac knows that when it's time to let something go, holding on will only warp it until it's unrecognizable from what you loved about it in the first place. thank it for being what you needed at the time you needed it to be whatever it was, and then let it go at the appropriate time. be honest with yourself if growth and change are necessary, painful as they might be.

by the Jiggy Snake, i feel so much better, though! freer, somehow, lighter. definitely happier. my heartburn, and that nagging constipated feeling, is gone, too. i've been hiding a lot of things from myself lately, regarding our relationship, and perhaps i've just finally come to the point where enough is truly enough. what sort of Funky pronoiac would i be if i talked about all this wonderous growth, about Funky Kali Love, and didn't employ it in every aspect of my life?

i knew how much he was bringing me down. i just refused to admit it. i remember this line i read in a book about codependency: "there are plenty of healthy people out there. they were all just avoiding you." now i understand what, exactly, it is about the emotionally unhealthy that repulses the well-adjusted and healthy. people like that are bad for my health. much as i love him as a person, he was just holding me back from way too much. and i was letting him.

but not anymore. i think i'm gonna go celebrate with an oreo cookie sundae.

1 comment:

Bohemian Mom said...

I once heard someone explain
co-dependency....
"It's like if you kill yourself and HIS whole life flashes before your eyes."
I'm glad you're feeling good about taking this this step towards a healthier you!
Oreo cookie sundaes were created for these kinds of realizations.