this week's rainbow dreams is brought to you by the triple goddess tarot, earth mothers all over the world, and the letter D...
so i know they're mainly a lot of bunk and created just for fun, but whenever i take a "which ______ goddess are you?" personality quiz online i always end up as some culture's version of the earth mother. every single time, too. mother goddess, earth mother, queen of heaven, it's all the same really, just different titles for the same facet of the Funky Jive.
on the other hand, bunk though it may be, i find it fitting.
look deeper into Her personality, and you'll find traces of me. look more deeply into my personality, and you'll find Her. in some cultures, she created dancing and singing. she's creatrix of the loom, or gave humanity the secret of brewing beer. she has wonderful bedside manner, and always knows the exact thing to make for someone who is sick, or somehow else in need. she always has full, motherly curves rather than the vixen sleekness of her love goddess sister, but even --especially-- au naturale, she's at her most beautiful. she's deeply sensual, taking pleasure in her world; from the fragrances of her land and her people carried on the breeze, to the cool grass beneath her bare feet, to the sound of the rocks and trees or the food, music, and laughter of the people around her, she immerses herself in all of it and the multiverse could not contain her love for it. she's profoundly sexual, and all acts of love are her rituals. her body IS the Menstrual Temple of the Funky Grail.
i've always been a nurturer. i've received some very high compliments in my life, but one of the highest i still hold dear is when i was told that yes, no matter how dire my own need is, should someone stumble through that door right now, i would drop everything and be running to help her. and i would, too. (now, before someone calls me a liar or hypocrite, this quality does not apply to energetic and emotional vampires like greggo, for whom i wasted so much of myself for so long before finally prying him off.)
last night i was out with a friend of mine and we had dinner and walked through downtown for a couple hours. we strolled through the parks up along 12th ave and meandered through the PSU campus. we twirled and pranced along the astro-turf practice soccer field, walked barefoot through the grass along the greenhouses, listened to the campus local wildlife late at night: co-eds laughing, studying, fooling around. we admired all the dogs that people were walking through the park. of course, the groomer in me couldn't help but eye each dog, identifying breed, what sort of trim they had, and shaking my head at the poor job of some of the body contours because i could still spot tracking. had those doggies been on my table, they would not have left looking like that! i make puppies purtiful.
it was a clear night, breezy but cool, and the wind played with my waist-length hair, twisting and fluttering tendrils in front of my face like chestnut streamers. the trees were happy, the grass soft and damp beneath my freshly pedicured feet. i was fat and happy after a lovely dinner and fantastic conversation. the traffic down park ave was like music, and the familiar lights let me know i was home. i was so in love last night --with portland-- i wonder how my heart could contain it.
i couldn't separate myself from it, and i didn't want to. all was As It Should Be, and i wonder if that's how gaia feels about us all --only on a much grander scale, of course!
when i love, i love with all of me. and now, when i make love, it's with all of me. when i give, i give until there should be pain but there is only joy. i have to be vastly and severely hurt over a very long period of time before it'll even occur to me to protect myself because my fundamental nature is giving. i can't really conceive of closing myself off anymore because yes, being closed would protect me from further pain, but being closed also shuts out all the possibilities of love and giving that are out there, every single day, just waiting for us. i made the choice, when i went to find my Funk, to be open to the love.
there is only love.
what does abundance mean to me? abundance is love. it's ALL love. Love is the loaves and fishes of the multiverse: the more you choose to be open to, the more it poures over you in tidal waves. the more you approach a situation, a person, a day with love...the more you find just waiting for you. put on love-colored glasses and, yes, you will see reality as it is, but it will inspire funkalicious compassion which is just another form of love. people won't seem as hostile -- just human, capable of enormous mistakes and even more magnificent breakthroughs. the universe will rejoice as you finally take notice of how hard it's been working to secretly shower you with blessings. the miracle of the sun --freely and without hesitation or complaint transforming four million tons of itself each day into energy and light for us to use as food, fuel, warmth, and life-- will seem like nothing less than a miracle of love given to us simply because we Are.
the more you love, the more you will be loved. but you must be open to it, freely and completely and unabashedly.
then your world will go BOOM!
...and the Jiggy Snake will go, "Wee!"