. . . .last time, on iGoddess. . . .
every once in a while i go sifting through my old writing just to see where i was, how my writing's changed, how i've changed, and just to spend a little quality time with nostalgia. my favorite is when i dig through some of my really old stuff and pull out something i don't recognize, read it, say to myself, "holy crap, this is awesome. who wrote this?" then i look at the bottom and see my little sigil, and i go, "oh wow, i wrote this..."
it happens every so often, and i love it.
but this afternoon i was digging around in brezsny-on-the-blog and found this:
your sins are pretty mild, capricorn. still, you have from time to time violated some of your own highest standards; you have on occasion failed to live with impeccable ethical integrity. that's the bad news. the good news is that in 2007 you will have the best chance ever to atone for past mistakes. if done well, your corrective actions will win you a permanent vacation from the hell that those mistakes have sometimes trapped you in.
that was back on 12.26.06.
i had written how there would be no fat fucking chance in hell that i would turn right around and lick the shiny, shiny leather boots of the fucktards of the world. never again would delena be a doormat, no! poor old delena. she had so much anger in her way back then. but Delena of the Divine Wow sees things a little differently, and mr. brezsny wasn't talking so much about bending over backwards or being penitent so much as he was talking about going back and fixing those things that were inherently wrong.
those things that scratched the lenses on my Funk-colored glasses.
he was talking about those patterns i didn't even know were there, the ones that kept me trapped in the quagmire of past soul-injuries. it was time to get my heart out of traction and, if i succeeded, i'd win my happy ass a first-class ticket out of that hell i didn't even know i was in.
at first, i started this blog entry because i wanted to say that it just feels so magically funkalicious to know i'm on the right track, and to know i'm almost done with this particular chapter in the Delena Saga of Funky Wowness...but it just doesn't seem like enough.
instead, i want to point out that so many people who've been reading iGoddess have felt the delirium of passionate pronoiac pyrexia and are letting it seep into their lives only to discover, like the boy at the dike with his finger in the crack, there's no stopping the flood, baby! my darling dizzy-girl has rediscovered herself after too many years suppressing everything wonderful and funktastic about herself. kota-bear's even gone and admitted that this is way too farking contagious and told my sweet, adorable, FREAKING BEAUTIFUL and wonderlicious boho mom to "find her happy, like iGoddess."
and, of course, bohemian mom herself is just the awesomest kindred funky, bohemian spirit i've ever met and i SO wanna be her when i grow up...
just...look how many people the Funk has brought together! look at how it's already touched their lives just because they simply let it in. dizzy called me her "guru" and, while it made me smile and gave me warm fuzzies and i LOVED that she's brought herself so far up, i can't take credit. i simply found and surrendered to my inner Funk. i finally decided i really wanted to change, i was tired of the same old crap, and i wanted to feel the sunlight on my face and really live.
i decided i wanted to be happy. and see how many people happiness has touched already! and what's wonderful is those people go out and touch others every single day. it's only a matter of time before the Funk spreads, grows, explodes in a orgasmically blinding fountain of coruscating FUNK in all directions to the furthest reaches of the multiverse!!!
the Funk will go BOOM!
...and the Jiggy Snake will go, "Wee!"
it'll be the best bang since the Big One, ecstatic and crazywild and ephemeral and every single off-the-wall adjective you can never think of.
and it's all thanks to all of you. look how far you've come! you're gorgeous, and i love you. you're funkalicious and i love you more than i love you. may the FUNK be with you, dammit!