afflatus

"most gods throw dice but Fate plays chess,
and you don't find out 'till too late that [s]he's been playing
with two queens all along."
--terry pratchett


one of my biggest pet peeves is being misunderstood simply because someone else is too ignorant to consider asking me for clarification. i'm like my sister *cc*; there are some days when i sincerely believe fucktards should be wiped from the face of the earth. i could go into examples, like when my older bio-sister *k* read an entry on my blog years ago that pissed her off. i haven't spoken to her since. she was a fucktard that day. or like now, with my schedule at work fucked over because my mgr. heard what she wanted to hear instead of what i was saying. i hate that.

of course, i simply can't stand being misunderstood, period. so much shit happens when the ignorant take action. look at the US government.

i say this only because i feel the need to clarify something about myself: i am not a superstitious, fundamentalist pagan who believes we are mindless pawns in a titan game of chess. i am, however, aware there is more influencing our lives than we can cognitively perceive. i believe in reincarnation and that we are pieces of the universe trying to figure itself out, trying to learn the big lessons; that we are fragments of the AllSoul growing closer to itself by splitting apart and exploring the miracles of the mortal palette.

Infinity had so much Love that it had to share it with someone. but Infinity was alone, so It split apart and invented Creation because only in a finite state could such illusory concepts as "love," "loyalty," and "partnership" become real. i would say that it's amazing how, after a few millennia, everything begins to look the same...except that after that much time has passed, nothing will have the ability to surprise, amaze, or fascinate you. it's all the same, and those wonderful things like "happiness" and "devotion" have become gift-wrapped packages with nothing inside them. even the brightness of the wrappings will have faded.

Infinity was bored, and lonely (only after that much time, It had become so accustomed to Its own company that even loneliness had faded), and wanted to recapture those wonderful things it knew In the Beginning. for In the Beginning, there was light and It Was Good.

and so the AllSoul shut its eyes, focused Its will, and all the energy contained within Infinity went BANG! and the Jiggy Snake went, "WEE!"

Dichotomy was born.

for when Grey splits apart, a horde of spectra come into being, each with its own set of twins sitting on opposite ends, facing off. and Dichotomy had children of Its own (for Dichotomy was a full hermaphrodite): the twins Light and Dark, the twins Joy and Sorrow, the twins Hate-Love and Indifference, Hope and Despair...

and this big bang jostled Time out of her slumber. and She said, "if I am to measure all things, I must have points of reference. if there is to be a Genesis in all things, there must be a Terminus."

with this statement, the final children of the AllSoul came from the place where They had been waiting. "that is Our domain," said Life and Death.

and thus were mortals blessed as the luckiest beings in existence. and by "mortals," i don't just mean humankind, either. anything that's born, lives, and dies hit the jackpot in this little experimental snowglobe called Creation. pachyderms have the strongest sense of family of any mammal i know. dogs have cornered the market on devotion and loyalty. swans, whales, and wolves understand commitment better than 97% of the rest of the mammal kingdom. dolphins invented play...

the children of Dichotomy began to develop facets of themselves when humans began to give them names. humans have the ability to focus thoughts and energy with such constancy that, over time, that focus manifests into reality. how else do you explain the gods having different names in different regions, being so similar but having slight differences based on culture, and yet each god is alive and well and active in that place? humans create the gods just as much as the gods create humans.

and every time we are reborn, being that we are pieces of the All learning more about Itself, we choose which lessons we'll learn the next time around. we place ourselves in the best possible positions to learn those lessons. every person, every event in our lives is there because we have called them there. what we choose to do with them is up to us. that's why i always look for the lesson.

that's not to say the gods don't take an interest in certain specimens of the human experience. we resonate better with some more than others. sometimes there are those humans who've been working with certain dieties over the course of lifetimes. Fate has a certain amount of influence over us, as does Her brother, Free Will. as do Chance and Order, Good and Evil, Fries or a Side Salad...

and at any point in time, we are always free to break the protective glass, flip open the switch covering, and slam on the big red button that says, "I Change My Mind."

. . . . . *blink*

. . . . . . *blinkblink*. . . . . .













--- *long pause* ---

i think that's just about where i am right now. i'm looking at the button, i'm holding the baseball bat, but i can't quite bring myself to break the protective glass just yet.