CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Accountants at an Australian car insurance company have found that Capricorns are the safest drivers. Correlating birth data with crash rates, they found that your sign is the least accident prone. This probably has to do with your renowned patience and carefulness. While I applaud you for that accomplishment and urge you to continue expressing your attention to detail while operating heavy machinery, I also recommend that in the coming week you make room for happier kinds of accidents. You need certain educational blessings that only serendipity can provide.
well, i suppose no car accidents can definitely make up for the fact that delena is totally accident prone everywhere else. hey, i didn't break 22 of my toes on purpose, y'know. and my funkmates are quite accustomed to hearing me cry, "Wahhh!" as i randomly lose my balance for no reason whatsoever and crash into something that has a better relationship with gravity than i do.
and oh, the temptation to crack open the box of bad jokes about my attention to detail while operating heavy machinery! of course, if all my closest friends didn't already know that i use my hot pink recreational device purely as a visual punch line rather than for its original purpose, i probably would let the jokes roll.
but anyway. happier kinds of accidents? now, we're not talking about accidents like the time i forgot i was wearing a bunch of bananas on my head for the entirety of that grocery trip, are we? "you gonna leave the store like that?" my bio-mom asked.
"like what?" and i blinked at her with that genuine WTF? expression.
or like that time i didn't know the e-brake was on, and didn't realize anything was even out of the ordinary until a mile or so down the highway when a car rode alongside us and the people were pointing to all that white smoke billowing out behind us.
or like that time i accidentally left the spoon in the bowl when i went to nuke my cereal.
or that time when i was nine and i threw that pineapple upside-down cake together, except i misread the measurement for the oil. or when i was making old-fashioned popcorn, and that was the night our neighbor rang the doorbell because no one was home at her place and there was some emergency . i noticed a faintly odd smell and went to the kitchen, totally having forgotten i was heating up popcorn oil. i lifted up the lid, and this blazing fireball went up in the kitchen that my bio-dad could see from the street, which is funny because the kitchen was in the back of the house...
really, i'm not accident-prone. i'm just slightly forgetful with a horrible sense of balance. really.
lately i've been rather accident-free, and i'm trying to keep it that way. but apparently i should be making room for accidental serendipity. i'm getting the strong feeling, however, that this means i need to be going out a bit more. here at the house of dragons' rest, the house tyrant and i --the clan mother-- like to keep our lair as a bit of a controlled environment. not much room for accidents...or even serendipity, for that matter. order, serenity, and kitty zen are the prevailing senses one gets when one walks into our den.
accidents and even serendipity are more likely to happen Out There. that sounds kind of ominous, especially since lately i've been keeping indoors and focusing on looking inward, and rebuilding and restructuring my fragile inner self into the bombastic and funky shining being i strive to become. perhaps my incubation period's come to an end, and it's time for me to hatch and take a look outside the rookery, see what's Out There that's Good.
well, what better armor could i possibly have to serve me? my thoughts create my own reality, what i see is what i get, and the universe is even now and ever conspiring to shower me with blessings.
credendo vides.
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