9.03.2008

the unFunk revisited

How do we defunk the unfunk? ...Also where does this unfunk come from? Is it the moon?

ah yes, the unFunk.

i think a better question would be "how do we de-un the unFunk?" or for those who think "de-un" just sounds weird, "how do we Funkify the unFunk?"

although, looking at it, perhaps "Funkify the unFunk" is better, because if we de-un the unFunk, we're taking away a part of it...unless you think of it as taking away a negative, which everyone knows two negatives equals a positive.

sometimes.

wow, my mind's just totally filled with wanderlust today...

lemme try this again.

"Funkification of the unFunk", by iGoddess

i don't think the unFunk is caused by any one thing.

i think it's a multiple set of influences, each of which is connected in some way to every other contributor.

we lead busy lives, and a lot of time we allow ourselves to get swamped by the negativity because, sludgelike as it is, it takes a lot of strength to keep it from sticking everywhere. and it's a busy time of year, and it only seems to get busier. the busier we get, the less time or energy we have for things like cooking solid, wholesome meals that would keep up our strength. we have less time for sitting around a table as a family, keeping up our emotional strength through solidarity and communion. and the desire not to interrupt our friends' lives, even when a bit of friendship or support might do us some good, we think, "no, so-and-so's busy, i don't want to bother them," so we grow more and more disconnected when, who knows? they might be feeling just as overwhelmed and disconnected as we are.

and everyone's heard of the saying, "birds of a feather flock together." crap like the unFunk is contagious.

actually, emotions themselves are contagious.

you are who you hang out with. take a look at your three closest friends, or your five closest. look at their level of income, their family life, their values, their financial abilities (or lack thereof), what kind of house/apartment they live in, what kind of car they drive (or transit system they take). you are who you hang out with. odds are, you are at their level, too. mentalities support one another, or they go their separate ways. it's just the way things work.

so look at the people around you. are they happy and well-adjusted? or are they busy, tired, and overwhelmed, too? you pick it up. that's why the other saying is so popular: "misery loves company." it might feel like solidarity to sit down together and commiserate about how tough things are, and dream together, but you're only bringing yourselves down.

i try --not always successfully-- to at least look at things with a bit of analysis, or find the good, or find the hope, whenever i'm unFunky here. at least lately. it helps, i think. instead of just bitching and moaning, i'm saying, "wow, things really suck right now, and rar, rar, rar. but at least i know there's a source, and once i find it, i'll be back to shining, stunning revolutionary freedom fighter iGoddess planting joy mines in your psyche.

right now? blah. but just like yet another saying, "this, too, shall pass."

3 comments:

dizzymichelle said...

I'd written an LJ entry this morning and just cut and pasted to myspace due to reading this entry. :)

We are indeed who we hang out with and there have been many times when I've thought about that. I have some amazing friends but there are those who drain me. There are also those who make me feel guilty for not feeling as bad as they do.

There is one who was telling me her woes and when I told her some of what's been happening for me she actually shut her mouth and said "ok you win!"

Hell I didn't want to win that competition but I sure hope she realises how much I don't say about what's bothering me when I'm trying to talk her up.

michellechant said...

My goddess you're right! Its amazing ... but like does attract like ... luckily i've noticed a shift this year ... I walked away from all the toxic people in my life ... and found some new friends ... and life is getting better.

mich
x.

Bohemian Single Mom said...

Hell, YEAH!!!!!
I am so glad I read this. You speakth such truth here!
I've had to leave behind certain toxic, energy-sucking friendships.
But I never really thought about it in depth. What you write makes perfect sense!
xo