CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): How well are you capitalizing on this year's unique opportunities, Capricorn? Now that we're halfway through 2008, let's take an inventory. Your self-image is in the midst of an exhilarating expansion, right? Your excitement about being alive is growing steadily, right? Your devotion to cultivating an inner sense of freedom is getting more intense every day, right? You have an ever-increasing clarity about what life experiences you need in order to feel powerful, right? If you're falling short in any of these projects, start making up for lost time immediately.
so let's take an inventory. having ascended from the crucible of my life of which the Year of Secrets was the final chapter, the Year of the Delena was to be defined by wetter, wilder, and more interesting challenges. let's see how i've done:
1.) Q. my self-image is in the midst of an exhilarating expansion, right?
2.) Q. my excitement about being alive is growing steadily, right?
3.) Q. my devotion to cultivating an inner sense of freedom is getting more intense every day, right?
4.) Q. i have an ever-increasing clarity about what life experiences i need in order to feel powerful, right?
A. ri-- ...wait, huh?
hmm. i seem to be falling short in this area. i'm completely on the right track. before mr. brezsny's horoscope came to me, direct from the televisionary oracle straight into my e-mailbox, i blogged about my theme song, crazywhacked love for ALL creation, and just how freakin' in love i am with my life!
my mental uplink with the PNN grows stronger by the day.
however, feeling powerful? i've never really given it much thought. i suppose power, in my own mind, would translate into influence over things and an ability to shape things according to my will. this, in essence, is magic and the heart of what it is to be Witch: the exercise of will to manifest change.
i've had a few inklings, i suppose, but i don't know that i'd call it an "ever-increasing clarity" about what life experiences i'd need in order to feel "powerful." maybe i'd call it an intuitive feeling about what experiences i need. then again, i think less about power and more about achievement, the feeling of success (and my definition thereof), and the ability to lead my life as i wish.
then again, i suppose my definition of power would be the ability to lead my life as i wish. the freedom to lead the lifestyle i truly desire is a sort of power: power over my own life. and, to take this idea further, i suppose that "freedom" would be the direct opposite of "security," so there would be some risk involved, i know, in having the life experiences needed in order to procure my own powerbase. then again, perhaps "risk" is the wrong word.
after all, this is iGoddess! there is no risk, only adventure!
how often do i jump into things and people dig their fingernails into the arms of their chairs as they watch me plummet headfirst into whatever i've thrown myself into? i have the freedom of my own heart, and it gives me the power to do those sorts of things. and i always land on my feet, in the end.
true, a little security is a good thing. i love the security of my family and friends. but, as we've discovered here at the iGoddess, the security i feel living with my family has trapped me in the roomate lifestyle when i know i'd be so much freer living alone. the more security you have, the less freedom.
look at the people who have "maximum security." ...think about it. they live behind bars, wear orange jumpsuits (or blue, grey, whatever), and have men with high-powered scope rifles patrolling the perimeter making sure they never escape that security.
think about it.
i'd rather have freedom. utter freedom, the limits of which are only reached by my own morals and the generosity of my unquenchable spirit. oh, the possibilities of what i could do and achieve! THAT is power!
...so i have an idea of what power is to me. i suppose i always did; i just never thought about it. but the life experiences required in order to feel powerful?
...actually, a few things have actually been popping up in the last two-or-so weeks. i've just been eyeballing them very carefully. when someone opens their hand and offers you a portal to another world, no matter how adventurous and unquenchable you are, you're gonna look at it sidelong for a bit. part of me can't believe they're for real, these things, but i suppose i've only been getting accustomed/acquainted within myself with these radical new things before i finally take the plunge.
because you know i will...