theme song (n)
1. an oft-repeated song in a musical play that is identified with the work or one of its characters
2. a melody in an operetta or musical comedy so emphasized by repetition as to dominate the presentation
3. an expression, comment, or subject of conversation that a person or group uses habitually
4. a thing delena often uses to quickly describe where she's at in life
a lot of people have particular favorites when it comes to music. lately it's come to my attention just how ecclectic i really am. in one day, i can listen to a dozen different genres of music, each of them distinct. and while this is nothing special, what i do think as special about it is what it says about me.
"because," she says with a joking curve at one corner of her mouth, "it's all about me..."
i love being ecclectic, out-of-the-box, unable to fit into any one category...as juxtapositional as a Compassionate Loving Trickster iGoddess Daughter of Lilith.
one thing that i've been saying a lot, on a daily basis even, is, "wow, i love my life!"
and i mean it.
the secret really isn't a secret at all, but it's something we all have to learn for ourselves: all we have is Now. the only place to find true happiness is Now.
contentment, satisfaction, joy, esteem, respect, excitement, love, knowledge, peace...inside and out. between ourselves, and with others. in groups, in pairs. ecstatic passion for everyOne and everyThing. the same ecstatic, lusty bliss for grass, velcro, and a lamp post as for a Funky groovemate. the same orgasmic satisfaction you feel at the first luscious sip of a perfect chai latte, extended also toward global warmers, wife-beaters, and PVC pipe.
kill it with kindness and love it to death.
i'm beginning to understand in leaps and bounds. as if my mind were merely a seed up until now, it has opened wide and blossomed exponentially. for the first time ever --on sunday-- i felt shame and unease at the realization that i had reveled in my enemies' misfortune.
i was uncomfortable in the knowledge that i still considered people as enemies.
i was disturbed knowing i took actual pleasure in their heartache and karmic debts being cashed in. which meant, of course, that i still harbored grudges and some anger and sense of victimization, somewhere deep inside, over how they wronged me. granted, i used to operate from a place i had named The Darkness, which was just another name for a void inside us created by insecurity and incompleteness within ourselves. the only way to fill it is by ourselves with ourselves. and i had, but on some level i was still operating from those negative forces that fill that void with Darkness.
i realized it was another burden weighing me down, something i needed to turn into pumice stone and watch float away down the River Funk.
so i did. i took a day and uprooted those negative things that were sapping my Funkarama Bootyliciousness, turned them into pumice, and watched them float away. i have way more interesting things to be concentrating on, much tastier and more exciting events in my life upon which i could be spending my time. who cares about former enemies? they're just human beings, just like me, and we're all one brotherhood of man sharing all the world, as lennon used to say.
besides, without them and their small-minded viciousness, i never could have grown beyond the petty peevishness of their rat race. thanks in part to them, i have blossomed. i will forever feel a deep gratitude toward them; they led me to reject how i've always lived my life and jarred me into a new mentality, a new approach to the universe.
not only am i having fun with this whole new aspect to dating, but i'm meeting a great group of men on a wholly different (read: "superior") level than what i've seen before now. they're affirming my faith in the male of the species, actually, with their intelligence, manners, chivalry, wit, and appreciation for the values and qualities i value, as well. and they appreciate me, and they show it, for which i always make a point to thank them. i have a wonderful career filled with people who not only appreciate me, but shower me with appreciation and affirmation. my family continues to be endlessly wonderful. new and wonderous opportunities are all but throwing themselves at my feet. and the universe continues to shower me with blessings.
my life, in a word, rocks.
and so i give you, beauty and truth fans, my new theme song as of late. i know the video's cheesy, but it's also whimsical. and what else are we here at the pronoiac iGoddess if not appreciative of the whimsical and off-kilter?