the unFunk

thanks to Google Reader, i'm able to keep up with all of the blogs i used to "keep an eye on." now i'm able to be totally informed --pretty much minute to minute-- when another blog is updated. it's like my own, customizable community bulletin board for the iVillage i "belong" to.

but i've noticed that i'm not the only one whose Funk is enduring a current attack by Funk Kryptonite.

the unFunk is everywhere, it seems.

and yes, i'm still unFunky. i decided not to continue "daily deelite" until i could post gratitude with honesty. someone once told me that my writing was so smooth it seemed like i could just rattle off these posts within a few minutes. while i blushed, smiled, and said "thank you," i also said that they take a lot longer than a few minutes. some posts take hours to write, and i sit there until they get written. there are days when daily deelite takes the longest because, while i could toss up a whole bunch of things i'm casually grateful for, those five things are always things for which i feel grateful to the marrow. it's not as easy to find them as it seems, some days.

and right now, i really don't feel all that grateful. in fact, i feel pretty disconnected, and impatient for the feeling to be over with. i don't want to sit through it and let whatever happens be okay. i want to think and intuit myself through it and have it be over with, godsdammit. but apparently that's not how it works, and so inside i feel like a tiger pacing in a cage at the zoo.

trying to fight it or rush it is counter-productive, i know. well, i know it intellectually. on a gut level, i don't give a shit and just want it to be over.

but apparently the unFunk is starting to spread. not cool.