CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Here's my first question: Are you willing to change yourself in ways that would allow you to get more of the love you long for? Here's my second question: If you are willing to change yourself, are you capable of actually carrying out those changes, thereby creating a permanent shift in your identity? If your answer to those two questions is yes, the coming weeks will be prime time to get to work. Now here's my third question: In what precise ways would you have to change yourself in order to get more of the love you long for? Write down or print out your thoughts on a piece of red paper.
well, this isn't red paper, but we'll pretend it is...
Q. am i willing to change myself in ways that would allow me to get more of the love i long for?
A. i already have.
Q. am i capable of actually carrying out those changes, thereby creating a permanent shift in my identity?
A. um, i already have. in fact, it's been so dramatic and noticeable that i've already had a few people asking me what the hell i'm on. =)
Q. in what precise ways would i have to change myself in order to get more of the love i long for?
A. well, i've changed myself in that i've taken down the fortress around my heart, circled in fences and barbed wire. (yes, i'm quoting Sting...). i've laid my heart as open as the sky, ready to receive the multitudinous blessings the universe is conspiring to shower upon me, conceiving in my mind what i want and believing that i can achieve it.
it's that belief that makes all the difference. napoleon hill said, "whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, he can achieve."
just imagine what the mind of woman can conceive, believe, and achieve! (haha, just kidding)
(...'kay, maybe a little)
but yes. the belief has made all the difference. i've been asked what i'm on, that this remarkable transformation has taken place? two things:
it was recommended to me that i just start, every day, to think of five things for which i'm grateful. and i did. i started immediately, and it was "daily deelite." it's made a huge difference, just as big as keeping my eyes and heart on my family during and after my Darkest Hour. setting aside the time every day to find five things that filled me with utter gratitude began to train me to see gratitude everywhere; to see many somethings for which my heart just filled to the brim with thankfulness. and with gratitude came joy.
with joy, wonder.
with wonder, humility.
with humility, grace.
with grace, the universe opened up to me.
second, belief has made the difference. i spoke earlier about coming into alignment with my soul and subconscious. i'm not just talking about spouting what i want, and then when i don't get it and life still blows up in my face, griping about it and saying how i knew it wouldn't work anyway. i'm talking about getting down into my psyche, knocking on the doors of my subconscious (after clearing a path through the junk), and befriending the creatures i find there.
and by "creatures," i don't necessarily mean monster-like or creepy. just...Other. perhaps fae-like, perhaps unsidhe (pronounced oon-shee) or unseelie. just creatures Other than human with their own powers, gifts, and abilities that are not only extremely useful, but powerful. befriending them, they went to work for me.
filled with the power of gratitude as i was, trained to see the abundance of the multiverse, i began to recognize my own power. for, you see, i am the universe made manifest. the energy that makes up the universe --the Force that is Everywhere, Everywhen, and Everything-- is thus myself, for i am Of the universe. and this Energy is at one with itself, and at peace with itself, and filled with bliss. this Energy is Aware.
it is the Divine Funk, blissed-out on its own orgasmic yayness.
it is everywhere, so it has nowhere to go or be, nothing pressing urgent to do, so it has no stress. it is everywhen, so it is unconcerned with what might be, or what has been, and therefore has no regret or dread. all outcomes are already there, inside it, so it is at peace. and it is everything, so it has no threats to its safety, the way your own arm, or your hair, wouldn't pose a threat to you.
and i, being a child of the universe, am part of the Everything that is this Energy. i AM this Energy! it is my divine right to be what i am: happy, healthy, peaceful, and living in abundance.
energy is everything, and everything is energy. and thought-energy is the purest, most powerful form of energy there is. if energy is neither gained nor lost, only converted, then when i eat food, that is energy. my body, a finely tuned energetic-combustion machine, converts that fuel into energy for my body to use. and thoughts are part of that energy.
so when i think, where does that energy go?
...back out into the universe...
and the Jiggy Snake hears and answers.
so if i'm thinking negative thoughts, those thoughts have a negative frequency that affects the other energy-forms around me...from my kitties to my siblings, to the trees and concrete and the very air around me. just like fish can feel the subtlest changes in currents in the water around them through their highly sensitive scales, think of energy like the water and everything "solid" is a fish.
the energy we transmit is tangible to the other energy-forms around us. all we are, after all, is energy condensed to a slow vibration. we are energy interacting with energy.
if our thoughts are positive, then like in monsters inc. when they discovered that laughter was ten times more powerful than scream, so are our positive thoughts vastly more powerful than anything else we could possibly transmit.
my belief, my gratitude, my joy, and my grace are felt by everything everywhere and everywhen. every morning i create my day in my own image. and when it says that God created humankind in "His" own image, i don't believe they were talking about how God looks humanoid, or that humans were to be the "supreme" life form upon this planet. i think, instead, God meant that in God's Own Image meant that we, like God, are made of the exact same energy and are, in essence, One. i think God created us so that we could reflect Gods own image of grace, joy, abundance, and peace.
THAT is Gods Own Image...
so i create my day in my own image, and bad days just don't exist for me anymore. i have exactly what i want and need, exactly when i want and need it. there's no more stress at the salon anymore, and i am always smiling. every day is a good day. my customers tip me generously. people receive me well and laugh at my jokes. men hold doors open for me left and right. i remember things quickly and easily. i can do anything i set my mind to.
i am loved.
and because my life is filled with love, and because i believe i am worthy of love, it sets me free to love others. and i do. i love you more than i love you. that saying now makes complete sense to me; it means that i am filled with so much love for you that, by the time i've gotten the words "i love you" out of my mouth, i already love you even more. and it only grows.
if you're reading this right now, i love you. and i mean it. i am completely in love with you, because i am completely in love with myself and we are all of the same energy. how can i love me without also loving you? we are connected, you and i. i could name everyone i know here, and tell them i love them. i could even make an attempt to name everyone i don't know, and tell them i love them. but instead, tonight i will instead utilize the power that is within me, uplinked to the PNN (aka "the collective unconscious") via my subconscious mind, and transmit to you the love that i feel for you. and you will feel it.
because i believe you will.
i love you more than i love you.