CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): By the year 2100, some human beings will be married to sophisticated robots. So concludes David Levy, who got a doctorate from a Dutch university for his thesis, "Intimate Relationships with Artificial Partners." Let's use his prophecy as a jumping-off point for your meditation, Capricorn. In your fantasies about togetherness, are you unconsciously harboring any unrealistic desires for robotic perfection? If so, are they interfering with your ability to have deep and satisfying relationships with interesting but flawed people? Take inventory of any tendencies you might have to want artificial partners. Then dissolve those delusions.

hmm. robotic perfection? in whom, myself? others? the One with the Tie-Dyed Decoder Ring, whoever he may be in all his lucious Funkarifficness? and no, he's not like To Whom It May Concern, because TWIMC was my robotic perfection. and furthermore, poor guy, he wasn't just any ol' ideal. he was my childhood ideal. no wonder he ran for the hills.

god speed, To Whom It May Concern, wherever you are.

it's kinda funny, because *ks* asked me to identify TWIMC. "i haven't quite deciphered delena-speak yet," he said. "almost, but not quite." i had to laugh. it's simply the One who's right for me (whoever he is), with the key to my heart --except i thought a decoder ring was much more fun and fitted me better because it's not like i'm all locked up inside so i don't exactly need a key, right? however, just as *ks* said, sometimes delena-speak and delena Funk can be a bit much to understand, so he'll need a decoder ring. and i made it tie-dyed because, well, c'mon. this is Funk! and everyone knows i'm kinda retro...

so i'm really not feeling the whole subconscious demand for robotic perfection. i suppose that's just too ironic a statement not to make here. why would i be feeling the demand if it were subconscious? however, i don't see a trend in my life that says i've been demanding it, or expecting it, or even just looking for it. in fact, i've pretty much let go of most of my expectations while holding on to solid boundaries (respect, trust, communication) and looking for only a few key things: intelligence, generosity, maturity, good relationship with parents/family... y'know, the important things.

however, i found something else i like even better this week, mr. brezsny. i found it last night in my e-mailbox, straight from you at the PNN:

"There is, furthermore, another class of difficulty—let's call it the delightful dilemma —that neither feeds on angst nor generates it. On the contrary, it's fun and invigorating, and usually blooms when you're feeling a profound sense of being at home in the world. The problem of writing my book is a good example. I've had a good time handling the perplexing challenges with which it has confronted me.

Imagine a life in which at least half of your quandaries match this profile. Act as if you're most likely to attract useful problems when joy is your predominant state of mind. Consider the possibility that being in unsettling circumstances may shrink your capacity to dream up the riddles you need most; that maybe it's hard to ask the best questions when you're preoccupied fighting rearguard battles against boring or demeaning annoyances that have plagued you for many moons.

Prediction: As an aspiring lover of pronoia, you'll have a growing knack for gravitating toward wilder, wetter, more interesting problems. More and more, you will be drawn to the kind of gain that doesn't require pain. You'll be so alive and awake that you'll cheerfully push yourself out of your comfort zone in the direction of your personal frontier well before you're forced to do so by divine kicks in the ass.."

well, i swear to the Funk, lately i've been in the realm of no comfort zone this past week. but what is the box that people are always saying to think outside of? it's your feeling of comfort and security. and if thinking outside the box, outside your comfort zone, is really uncomfortable, then just know it's because you're so preoccupied with your own insecurity that it's overriding whatever sense of adventure you might harbor for What's Out There. i read an article once that said if you're more willing to live with your insecurity rather than climb out of it and finally get what you want, then stay inside your box.

me? i'm ready for What's Out There. wetter, wilder, more interesting and delightful dilemmas. oh yeah...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

So proud of you! You know that right?